


Parallel Minds

by CelestialCelery



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Dealing with stereotypes, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Slytherin, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-13 17:19:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 39,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11189754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialCelery/pseuds/CelestialCelery
Summary: Julianne Ashworth thought she could lead a normal life in Hogwarts, with friends and fights, romance and break ups, and everything a teenager goes through. She learns that she's wrong when she realises that being in the same year as Harry Potter means that her life will definitely not be normal for the next few years.She grows closer to the Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy, and they deal with change together as their lives fall apart and the war begins. Can Julianne find love when her world seems to be breaking?*This fanfiction is also posted on Wattpad and possibly on Fanfiction.net in the future





	1. The Sorting

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first fanfiction on Archive of Our Own and I'm really looking forward to writing this and posting it. The Harry Potter series has had a huge impact on my life and I've loved it for years, and placing my own character into the universe is something I've always wanted to do.  
> I've written fan fictions before but have never been able to finish them so I decided to do lots of research and plan this one out properly. I'm really excited to see how it's goiing to turn out and to how you'll like it!  
> I hope you enjoy this and feel free to comment with what you thought and with any criticism.
> 
> -Raena

The Great Hall fell silent as the first years were led into the room. The older students studied them carefully, wondering which ones would turn out to be in their houses. The sorting hat sang it's song as it did every year, and "Abbott, Hannah" was called forward first.

Julie stared at the girl nervously, knowing that she would be next. She felt like all eyes were on her, and when Hannah was sorted into Hufflepuff she felt as if her feet were glued to the ground so she couldn't move forward. 

"Ashworth, Julianne"

The girl moved forward and suddenly became conscious of everything. She could feel an odd strand of her black hair tickling her cheek, and her sweaty hands, and the way her feet weren't really comfortable in her new shoes. She focused on breathing as she sat down on the stool and the hat was placed on her head. The rim draped over her face slightly, blocking her vision. She was somewhat thankful for it because it was better than having to stare at the rest of the school in front of her. 

"Ah, an Ashworth" started the hat. Julie shuddered in surprise at the feeling of the small voice in her ear. 

"There's no need to be nervous" said the hat, with a chuckle. "We'll find the right house for you"

"We've got courage, lots of it" it began again after a short while. "Gryffindor? That has been your family house for generations and --- no, no, not Gryffindor"

Julianne's heart sank a bit, not wanting to disappoint her proudly Gryffindor parents.

"Let's see.. there's a lot of creativity and intellect, a lot of loyalty, and a lot of pettiness and spite. You really want to prove yourself, don't you? Such a little girl yet such huge hopes for the future… Well then, I think we both know what that means..."

_'Please, just put me where I'll fit in, please'_ Julie thought. 

__

__

"SLYTHERIN" 

Julie took off the hat and placed it on the stool and made her way to the Slytherin table. She didn't know what she expected and she didn't know what she wanted, but she knew that her parents wouldn't exactly be pleased. She sat down beside a pretty blonde girl who smiled at her and welcomed her to the house. Julie didn't say anything in reply, she just clutched her shaky hands and stared the other students getting sorted.

"Bullstrode, Millicent" joined Julie at the Slytherin table, sitting beside her as they were the only two first years. She was a large girl with a mean looking face. 

Then another two boys came to the table, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, followed by Pansy Parkinson (who sat beside Julie and Millicent, already forming a sort of group even though the three didn't know anything about each other other than their names). 

"Potter, Harry" was called out and the entire Hall started whispering. The poor boy looked nervous and Julie caught his gaze and smiled at him. He was placed in Gryffindor and the table lit up with cheers.

Draco Malfoy joined the table next, and Julianne remembered her parents telling her about the Malfoy family. They were similar to the Ashworths in everything but the fact that they were known supporters of the Dark Lord. 

Malfoy smirked at the girls and started talking to Crabbe and Goyle, ignoring the rest of the ceremony. 

After "Zabini, Blaise" was placed in Slytherin, the banquet began. Julie talked to the two girl on either side of her, coming to the conclusion that she didn't like Millicent who was as mean as she looked, and that Pansy was a bit spoilt and could probably be a bit of a brat, but other than that she was nice. 

"I've heard about the Ashworths" she told Julianne. "Thought I've never actually seen one. Is it true that they call you "The Ashworth Princess"?"

"Yeah" Julie nodded. "But I think it's a bit silly. It's only because I'm an only child so I'll inherit everything's my family got. But I'm not _royalty_. Look"

She stuffed an entire baked potato into her mouth and chewed on it intently, as if proving that her 'Princess' nickname definitely did not stem from her table manners. Pansy and Millicent both laughed at her. She was much more calm now and felt much more herself. The tricky park was over, or so it seemed. 

"I wonder what your parents will think of you though" said Millicent. " I've heard that everyone in your family has been a Gryffindor for generations. It's strange that you're not even considered 'Blood Traitors'."

"My great grandma was a Hufflepuff" said Julie. "But yeah, other than that they're all Gryffindors. And my parents will probably be somewhat disappointed because I'm ruining the tradition, but what can they do? The hat said I wasn't right for Gryffindor."

The feast ended soon and the first years were led to their common rooms by their prefects. Julianne was in awe with the Slytherin common room. It was under the black lake so you could see the water through the windows. It was dark, but it had a cosy feeling and the gentle green light created a warm and fresh atmosphere. 

A large Slytherin crest hung over the fireplace and a sofa and and few armchairs stood before it. Julie was already dreaming of the winter nights she'd spend there with hot chocolate and a book.

"You like it, huh" said a voice from behind her. She turned around to see Draco Malfoy looking at the room proudly. He was the embodiment of Slytherin, even his pale complexion seemed to suit the aesthetic of the room. His eyes glistened and his platinum blonde hair almost glowed in the lighting. He looked confident, a bit too confident for a first year in an unknown to them place. 

"Yeah, it's cool." She replied. She thought he'd say something to continue talking to her but he just nodded with a satisfied look on his face and turned around to Blaise Zabini. 

They were led to their dormitories and Julianne took the corner bed near the window right away. She was sharing it with Pansy, Millicent and two other girls she didn't know. Their names were Theresa and Lyndsey, who both seemed nice enough. Lyndsey was very chatty and introduced herself right away. She was obviously really excited for school to start. Theresa was quiet but polite, and smiled pleasantly when she introduced herself. 

Julie unpacked everything she needed for class the next day and got into bed. She hugged the duvet and closed her eyes. She was as comfortable as she could possibly be, but she couldn't fall asleep. She was as nervous, even kind of scared of having to write to her parents about beint sorted to Slytherin the next day. Her mother would probaby be okay with it and somewhat supportive. Her father, on the contrary, would not. He was insanely proud of everything Gryffindor, of the prominent trait of bravery, of the lion which symbolised the house and even of the founder, Godric Gryffindor. Julie thought he was more words than actions though. He never seemed to be brave, and he was a good bit too proud of his pureblood status. To Julie, Marcus Ashworth was a scary man.

She fell asleep later than everyone else, troubling thoughts on her mind. The little Slytherin girl didn't realise yet how Hogwarts was going to change her life.


	2. Reuniting

First year wasn't an easy year for Julianne. Her parent's reaction to her being sorted to Slytherin wasn't the best and her father was angry with her to the point where he considered not allowing her to come home for Christmas break. Her mother, Helen, convinced him otherwise so thankfully Julianne's first year at Hogwarts wasn't shaded by the memory of not being able to come home for Christmas. 

The year passed by quickly and Julie became somewhat popular among her classmates. She talked to a lot of people from different houses, including Hermione Granger, one of Harry Potter's best friends. They got along nicely even though their houses were rivals and some of the other Slytherins ensured that that wasn't forgotten.

She became close friends with her housemates too, with Pansy, Theresa, and Lyndsey. She was on talking terms with Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy. 

She passed her exams with flying colours and went on to second year, and then third, and then fourth. The summer before fourth year was when her life began to change noticeably. 

Julianne's relationship with her father was getting worse year by year. He hated her Slytherin friends, and he hated how she wore the Slytherin scarf during winter, and he hated how she was good at Potions because it was taught by the Slytherin head of house, and he just seemed to hate everything about her school life, and everything about her too. They were barely on speaking terms some days, and on yelling terms on others. On a few occasions he even hit her when he got particularly angry. 

The family of three were having dinner one evening, when Helen Ashworth suddenly left the table to get something from her room. She came back with 3 pieces of paper, which looked like tickets. 

"Look what I've got" she said, waving them in front of her face. She gave one to Julianne, and one to her husband.

"Quidditch tickets?" Julianne asked quizzically. 

"Yup" said Helen. "We haven't had a family outing in years. And what's better than the Quidditch World Cup?"

Neither Julianne or her mother were particularly into Quidditch, and there would probably be a better way to spend time with the family for them, but Marcus loved Quidditch. In fact, he loved Quidditch more than he loved being spiteful to his daughter over something she had no control over. Julie knew that this was probably the only thing he'd agree to go to.

"Yeah.." started Julianne looking at her father. "I reckon some of my friends will be there too." 

Marcus slammed his hand down on the table at this. 

"Enough about your friends" he barked. "They're all you ever talk about. I don't want to hear another word about those snobbish, disgusting Slytherin bastards."

"Not all of my friends are Slytherins, you know" started Julianne. "Some are Gryffindors, and some are Ravenclaws, and some are Hufflepuffs. Even if they weren't, why do you care so much?!"

"Don't you dare use that tone with me young lady. I've had enough of you thinking you're better than everyone. And I care so much because being a Slytherin is a disgrace. All they care about is their type of blood and their wealth and their popularity. All of --"

"Father, you do realise that you just described yourself there." Said Julianne calmly. "You always talk about how everyone should respect you more because you're pureblooded. And how muggleborns aren't real wizards. And how they don't deserve jobs such as working in the ministry. And how -"

"ENOUGH" Marcus was enraged to the point where his face was red and he got up from his seat, walking towards his daughter. "YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AND YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BOSS EVERYONE AROUND. SHUT YOUR MOUTH JULIANNE OR ELSE I'M GOING TO PULL YOU OUT OF THAT DAMNED SCHOOL AND ENSURE THAT THE ONLY JOB YOU'LL BE ABLE TO GET IS BEING A PROSTITUTE" 

Julianne got up and left the table. She went up to her room and shut the door quietly, throwing herself onto her bed in tears. This wasn't the first time her father had such an outburst. This wasn't even near the the worst. He just couldn't accept her, and she had no idea why. So what if she was in Slytherin? Most pureblooded families prided themselves on that. 

Julie fell asleep in tears and was woken up early the next day by her mother to get ready to go to the cup. She got ready and painted her nails the Bulgarian colours to show her support for the team, even though she didn't care that much. But her father was supporting the Irish, so she decided to spite him in the small ways she could. 

They set off soon after, Julie apparating alongside her mother. They chose a good spot for their tent and set it up. Julie went to the gift shops where she saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione. 

"Hey" she cried out. "Granger!" The three of them looked around, Ron with his hand on his wand, just incase.

"Hi Julie" said Hermione politely. "We've already seen so many people from our school, no wonder you're here too"

"Yeah, my mother got us seats in the Top Box. Where are you going to be?"

"We have seats there too!" Exclaimed Hermione. "We'll see you soon then". 

And then they walked off, but Ron whispered something to Harry causing him to turn around and look at her. 

Julianne had visibly matured over the summer. She had a growth spurt and she lost some weight, so her figure made her look like a different person entirely. Her hair had gotten longer since she had been growing it out, and was reaching her waist. She stood proud and tall, kind of like her father, though she would never admit that.

After looking around the camping site Julianne decided to go up to the stadium. She assumed her parents had already taken their seats. She started walking up only to be called back again by a familiar voice,

"Ashworth! Julie!" 

She turned around to see Draco Malfoy with his parents. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you" she told them and Draco sniggered as being formal wasn't really a Julianne thing. She seemed to be casual with everyone, close friends, acquaintances, teachers. Not in the rude way of the course, just in a way that made her approachable. 

She shook their hands as Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy introduced themselves. Julianne didn't really expect a polite reaction from them, since sometimes it felt like everyone hated her father. However, maybe the fact that he wasn't there made it more bearable.

"You're in Draco's year, right?" Asked Narcissa. "Slytherin, I assume" 

Julianne replied 'yes' to both. Then Lucius and Narcissa walked ahead, leaving her to walk with Draco. 

"So how's summer been treating you?" She asked. 

"It's been good" he replied. "A bit boring though, with no one around to torment." 

"Well that's great for you then because I saw Potter and Weasley on the way in" 

"And Granger?"

"Yes, but I'd prefer if you left her out of it"

Draco smirked, "you'd prefer?" Julianne looked at him in exasperation. She hadn't really gotten a proper look at him before, and noticed he changed over the summer too. His hair got a bit longer and he got taller, and his face seemed to have matured a bit. All in all, he just got more good looking.

"Yes, I'd prefer. She's actually nice and it's not like she's ever done anything to you"

"She punched me last year"

Julianne let out a laugh. "Tragic"

"And so what's if she's "nice", she's still a mudblood"

Julie stayed silent. The word made her uncomfortable, especially since her father used it so often. She never saw the big deal with muggleborns being inferior. They could still do magic as well as purebloods, or at least it's never been proven otherwise. And they were still people, so why did it matter?

"What, got nothing to say to that?" Said Draco, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

"Uh, no" she mumbled, not wanting to start an argument, especially since Draco's parents were so close by. 

After a few minutes, Draco finally broke the silence. 

"You've gotten prettier over the summer" he said off handedly. 

"Thanks," she replied with a laugh. "Still not as pretty as you though" 

And with this they neared the stadium, both of them climbing up to the Top Box.


	3. The Dark Mark

Julianne saw her parents in the Top Box, but unfortunately her father saw Lucius Malfoy first. He went up to him, standing close and acting threatening and intimidating. 

"Malfoy" he said softly "Fancy seeing you here. Licking the Minister's ass as usual, aren't you?"

Julianne stared as Lucius Malfoy moved closer to him, discretely pressing his cane down on her father's foot. He tried not to wince in pain. He jerked his foot out from under the cane and Lucius Malfoy whispered something she couldn't here. Both of the men's wives looked at each other with annoyed expressions on their faces.

Marcus Ashworth saw his daughter standing near Draco and immediately grabbed her arm and yanked her away. Julianne almost fell and rubbed her arm where her father had gripped it. 

"Don't you go associating with the Malfoys." He said. "Or there will be consequences" 

Julianne sat down beside her mother, as far away from her father as she could. She saw Lucius have a run in with the Weasleys and was glad that her father avoided them. He thought the Weasleys were a "disgrace to Gryffindor" 

Ludo Bagman's voice rung out through the stadium and the game was starting. The teams showed their mascots, the veelas and the leprechauns and Julianne wondered what kind of magic you needed to make everyone stare at you like that. 

The game started and the game ended, and to Marcus 's delight, Ireland won. The Ashworths headed back to their tent. Marcus went out for a drink, and Helen approached Julianne. 

"Hey.." she said softly. "I'd say I'm sorry that Bulgaria lost but I know you don't really care"

Julianne smiled at her mother. "Yeah, you're right."

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. I know you're going back to school soon and you probably think it doesn't matter now but you should probably patch things up with your father."

Julianne just stared ar her. She felt slightly betrayed, but then again, her mum was married to her dad. 

"He doesn't actually care about me though, does he" said Julie "because if he did he wouldn't care so much about me being a Slytherin. He just cares about our image, which isn't so good anyway"

"He does care" argued Helen. "He's just very proud, and you know, you get that from him too."

Julianne cringed at this. 

"He's got his reasons for wanting you to be a Gryffindor. He made all of his friends there and the house was really important to him growing up, especially since his father died when he was in second year and his mother grew sick over time. He had no one to turn to apart from the Gryffindors."

"Doesn't mean he can still treat me like shit over something that I never had any control over"

"Julianne!" Her mother scolded. "And he only ever treats you badly because he actually blames himself for not being good enough"

Again, Julie just stared. "Sure he does" she mumbled. "Or he just really likes hitting me and yelling at me" 

Helen sighed. She tucked a strand of her behind her ear and took her daughters hand in her own. "I know he's wrong a lot of the time but… maybe you should listen to him sometimes. For example, the Malfoys really aren't good people and you could do better."

"You don't know them" said Julie.

"I know they're Death Eaters" replied Helen. 

"Draco isn't"

"He's still their son. And it's not only the Malfoys. Most of the Slytherin families don't have good reputations. And I don't like that you're friends with muggleborns either."

Julie ripped her hand away angrily. 

"And why's this? Because that's what father thinks? Because you can't stand up for yourself? Because you always just obey him like he's your superior?"

Julianne was getting angry and she was tired and she just wanted to cry. But not in front of her mother. So she yelled without even thinking.

But then she stopped yelling because she heard screams outside of the tent. And loud bangs. And she could smell smoke. They both left the tent to see and saw a horrific sight in front of them. Muggles were being targeted and being hung upside down, children were crying, there was fire everywhere. 

"Go into the forest, now!" Yelled Helen. "I'm going to find your father, stay safe!" 

And for the first time, Julianne did what she was told without question. She was terrified and she ran towards the dense trees, doing her best to dodge spells. She kept her wand out before her, already lighting it before she got to the darkness of the forest. 

A spell hit her and she fell to the ground, hitting her ribs off some rocks. She cried in pain and reached out to pick up her wand, doing her best to stand up. She could feel the warmth of her own blood soaking through her shirt, but she kept going until she reached the trees, hiding behind a particularly large one immediately. She grasped her side and tried to regain her breath. 

Julianne saw a well known figure in the distance. His white blond hair stood out in thr darkness. He stood there, calm as could possibly be. 

"Malfoy?" She breathed. 

"Malfoy!" She called out louder, loud enough to catch his attention. It was also loud enough to hurt her ribs.

He looked around and saw her by the tree, quickly making his way over. 

"Merlin, you're a mess" he said, referring to her blood stained shirt, dishevelled hair, muddy and tear streaked face. She groaned at him and probably would've told him to leave her alone if she wasn't in such a bad stare. She was starting to feel dizzy, lightheaded, and dark spots began clouding her vision. 

"Julianne. Hey, hey, Julie." Draco was clicking his fingers in front of her face. "Don't pass out. Here, just focus on something. Look at me, just don't pass out."

She looked at him. She thought he had a kind of annoyed expression on his face, as if he was irritated at her for falling, but he also looked a bit concerned. 

"Why-- h-how are you so, so calm?" She breathed out. For a moment Draco looked guilty. But then it quickly passed. 

"Look, we're purebloods. They're only targeting mudbloods. And they're not even harming them, they scare so easily. We're safe" 

Julianne winced at how insensitive he was but Draco must have thought it was from the pain. She was getting paler and paler, and the bleeding wouldn't stop. 

A loud noise erupted from somewhere not too far, and a ribbon of bright green penetrated the darkness. It shot up to the sky, forming a skull, and a snake. 

The Dark Mark.

Julianne backed up to the tree as if it would protect her and grabbed Draco's hand, or well, his wrist. He looked at her and she looked absolutely terrified, shaking, and silently crying. 

Draco didn't know what to do so he reached out and gently attempted to pat her arm, hoping to be somewhat comforting. 

"What's happening?" She asked, her voice choked up. "Do you think someone died?"

"No, I think it's just a sign. Why are you so afraid? Nothing is going to happen to you here"

"But all those other people, they're so scared and they're yelling and there's kids and they don't know what's going on and they're scared and someone might be hurt and -- and ---" she said this all so fast she ran out of breath. 

Draco awkwardly took her hand and she squeezed his, pretty hard. He raised his eyebrows at her but this went unnoticed. She was focusing on steadying her breath, and was having a hard time. She was shaky all over, pale, and her eyes were unfocused. Suddenly Draco began feeling worried because she looked close to passing out. 

"Julie.." he said gently. She looked at him with surprise because she'd never heard him sounding so kind. He seemed surprised at himself too. 

"You're bleeding a lot" he continued "maybe you should look at that because hopefully a normal healing charm might work"

Julianne lifted up her shirt, unsticking it from her body and hissing in pain. Draco helped her and saw that the cut was deeper than he expected. The area around it was bruised too. He took his wand and mumbled 'Tergeo' which got all of the blood out of the way. Julianne cringed slightly at the sight of her wand. Then Draco sent an 'Episkey' from his wand which partially closed up the wound. He sighed in relief.

"Thanks" Julianne said quietly. She cautiously let go of his hand and awkwardly tried to get up, obviously slight embarrassed. "I don't know what came over me there" she continued "I guess I just got panicky"

Draco just nodded and Julianne walked off, looking for her parents.


	4. Chocolate Frogs

Platform nine and three quarters was a more welcoming sight than usual for Julianne this year. She couldn't wait to get away from home, specifically from her father. He didn't even come to send her off this year, apparently he was too "disgraced and embarrassed". 

Julianne got onto the Express and found the compartment that her and her friends usually sit in. She entered and put her trunk under the seat. She was the first one there. Bored, she pulled out a drawing quill and some torn piece of paper and started doodling. In a few minutes, a knock sounded on the compartment door. She assumed it was one of her friends who need help opening the door and carrying their trunk, so she opened it and was quite surprised to find Draco Malfoy standing there. 

"Draco? Hi, what are you doing here?" She said, a bit too fast.

"What am I doing here? A bit rude Ashworth, don't you think? Considering I basically saved your life" 

Julianne laughed. "Yeah sure.." she said lightly. "I would've died without you" 

Draco sat down beside her, popping his trunk under the seat too. 

"Oh you're sitting here now?"

"Why is there a problem?"

"No, just wondering why you're not with your friends."

"They're not here yet" he stated " and neither are yours I see. Though don't expect Lyndsey Paine showing up. She's gotten with Blaise if you haven't heard."

"What? Really? I knew she thought he was attractive for like, ever, but I never thought she actually wanted to date him"

"From what Blaise has said, I don't think they're dating" Draco said. "They're more just.. constantly snogging" 

"Ugh, well that's going to be a sorry sight then." Said Julie. And then they both fell silent. Julianne and Draco never really talked that much, just small talk between classes. Julie wanted to start a conversation but didn't want it to be too awkward. She didn't fully understand why he sat with her anyway, as the rest of his friends were probably going to show up soon. 

"So how are you holding up?" Draco broke the silence. What an un-Draco like question. "Did you enjoy having me save you like you were a damsel in distress?" 

'And there's the Draco' Julianne thought. "I'm fine." She said. "Thank you for helping me that night. You made me feel less sca---"

"Julie!!! Draco?? " Pansy burst into the compartment. Julianne was grateful she never got to finish her sentence, as telling Draco he made her feel safer would just boost his already huge ego and make him feel like she fancied him.

Pansy, however, definitely fancied Draco, ever since first year. She went through these periods of hating him and the way he was arrogant and never noticed her feelings for him to being completely and utterly in love with him. Her mood dictated whether she had a crush on Draco Malfoy or wanted to crush Draco Malfoy. 

"Hi Pansy" Julianne said nicely. "How was your summer?"

"It was quite boring but - " she halted and realised that Draco was still there even though he was only half listening "it was also amazing. Did you hear about what's happening at Hogwarts this year??"

"I've heard whispers" said Julianne. " But I don't know what's really going on. Is it some sort of competition?"

"My father has told me all about it" said Draco. "It's the Tri-Wizard Tournament, you probably haven't heard of it, it's been at least thirty years since they held the last one because --"

"Draco we know what the Tri-Wizard Tournament is" said Theresa who was standing at the door. The girls greeted her excitedly while Draco scowled at being interrupted. 

"I'm going to go find Crabbe and Goyle" he said as he left the compartment. Julianne stared after him.

"Did he just get offended?" Asked Theresa. She never really liked Draco after an incident in first year where she denied a rumour of having a crush on him and he made fun of her teeth. Her teeth were quite crooked at the time, but with the help of some magical treatment that Julianne couldn't remember the name of, they became straight and white. 

"He definitely just got offended" sighed Pansy. "Why did you have to interrupt him like that?" 

Theresa sighed too, but in exasperation with Pansy. "You should probably get over your crush on him. What do you even see in him? He's arrogant, he's mean, he's selfish" 

"Have you seen his face? He's the cutest guy in Hogwarts by far, and he's rich, and he's pureblooded and he's exactly from the type of family my parents would want me to marry into!" Cried Pansy.

This could have come off as shallow, but Julianne felt sorry for Pansy. Like herself, Pansy 's parents were controlling and dictated the type of life she was meant to have. But Pansy accepted that unlike Julianne, deciding that maybe that kind of life is the best for her. So who would she be to blame her for wanting to date Draco?

Theresa didn't understand this, but Theresa had a different upbringing. The Roberts were pureblooded, but their family wasn't as traditional. They came from many different houses and some of Theresa's older cousins had married half bloods and muggleborns, and the family was still supportive of their ways. 

"Stop thinking like that" said Theresa. "You're worth more than just some boy"

The conversation had to end because Draco entered the compartment, along with Crabbe and Goyle. He had a smirk on his face, signifying that he had just tormented Potter and his friends. He sat down beside Julie.

The candy cart came around soon and Draco ordered some Chocolate Frogs and a pack of Every Flavour Beans. 

He opened the Chocolate Frog and Julie looked over his shoulder at the card. 

"Ooo you got Circe" she said. "Lucky. I don't think you get her that often" 

Draco looked at her in surprise. "You collect these?" He asked.

"Well I don't collect them, I just think they're cool to have" replied Julie. 

Draco got the card and gave it to Julie. She cautiously took it. 

"You can have it. I don't care about them anyway."

"What are you gonna want for it" Asked Julie. Draco looked at her with raised eyebrows. 

"A kiss" he grinned. 

"No way" said Julie. Draco slipped the card out of her hands and held it away from her. Julie reached for it.

"Can I please have her she's the one of the few I don't have!"

"Thought you didn't collect them though"

"… maybe I do"

"Kiss me then"

Julianne hesitated. And then she didn't and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, grabbing the card at the same time. 

"Well now I can say that I can get girls to make out with me for a Chocolate Frog card. Even better, I can say Julianne Ashworth made out with me for a Chocolate Frog card"

"Draco, do you even have any idea of what making out is??? I gave you a kiss on the cheek! And being fully honest, I'm sure there's girls who'd love to make out with you for nothing" 

Draco sniggered and looked at Pansy, whose cheeks turned red. Well, maybe he knew about her crush on him. Pansy looked a little bit annoyed at Julianne, but Julie was sure she didn't mean it seriously.

The train arrived at the station shortly and the students made their way to the castle. They were seated, the sorting ceremony took place, the banquet started and after the desserts, Dumbledore rose to make an announcement, but was interrupted by the doors opening loudly. A man entered, a man Julianne recognised as Mad Eye Moody. Her father had dealt with him before. He was announced as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. 

Dumbledore continued with his announcement, "It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year." Julianne looked at Draco who smirked at her, knowing that he was right. 

Dumbledore went ahead to explain what it was, and that the age restriction was seventeen. A good few people looked disappointed at that but Julianne thought it made sense. The tournament did have a death toll. Then the headmaster talked about the two other schools, who would be arriving somewhere in October, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. 

Julie headed down to her dormitory with Pansy, Theresa and Lyndsey who had finally torn herself from Blaise. 

"It's mad, isn't it" started Lyndsey, her Irish accent especially prominent. "That you've got to be seventeen to enter"

"Not really" replied Julie. "If there's a chance you're going to die you might as well be a legal adult" 

"Do you think Potter's going to enter?" Asked Theresa harshly. "With his need for attention wherever he goes" 

"It's a possibility" said Pansy "But who cares about Potter, aren't you all excited for the two other schools to come? Imagine all the cute boys"

"Gotten over Draco pretty quickly, huh" teased Theresa. Pansy just glared in response. 

In their dormitories, the girls quickly quieted down and fell asleep.


	5. Nikolai

The school year started on a blasting note, when Hagrid decided to take care of some Blast-Ended Skrewts for the Care of Magical Creatures class. It was pretty much disastrous, with sparks and burns everywhere. 

The day continued and Julianne and Pansy were walking behind Malfoy when they heard him take out a Daily Prophet and shout something over to Potter and Weasley. They came closer to see what was going on. 

"the Ministry was plunged into fresh embarrassment yesterday by the antics of Arnold Weasley, of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office." They heard Malfoy read out loudly. He made a comment about the paper not getting Arthur Weasley's name right, and continued reading on. 

"And there's a picture, Weasley!" said Malfoy, flipping the paper over and holding it up. "A picture of your parents outside their house - if you can call it a house! Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn't she?"

Julianne internally groaned, knowing that Draco was just picking trouble. Potter told him to "get stuffed" but instead Malfoy made a go at him too, saying something about if "his mother's really that porky, or if it's just the picture". 

"You know your mother, Malfoy?" Started Harry. 'Oh, here we go' thought Julianne. 

 "that expression she's got, like she's got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?" He finished. 

Draco's cheeks turned pink

"Don't you dare insult my mother, Potter"

"Keep your fat mouth shut then" said Harry, turning away. Draco fired a spell at him, with impressive accuracy considering the boys were far away from each other, but he still missed. 

Julianne turned to hear something Pansy was saying to hear but then heard a loud "BANG!" And both girls saw a white ferret in the place where Draco was standing, Mad-Eye Moody in front of him. 

The teacher had transfigured Draco into a ferret. He was, shaking, bouncing up and down and made an attempt to run down to the dungeons. Moody sent him up into the air and brought him closer. 

"I don't like people who attack when their opponent's back's turned." He growled. "Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing do to."

He continued bouncing the ferret up and down, and Julianne was both amused and felt pretty sorry for Draco. He got what was coming, but she knew how embarrassed he must have felt. 

McGonagall appeared and chastised Moody, who turned Draco back into himself. He was lying on the ground, his face pink, his hair a mess, and his eyes watery. He looked up at Moody and muttered something. 

Julianne was about to go up to him but the teacher grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the dungeons, where Snape's classroom was located. 

"Poor Draco" sighed Pansy. "He didn't deserve that humiliation"

"Pansy, you giggled at it too" remarked Julianne. "It was quite amusing, and I think that he did deserve it. Has he got nothing else to do than provoke Potter and his friends?"

"You're right. Though you know, he made a cute ferret." Both of the girls laughed. 

Julianne saw Draco in the common room a while later. He was sitting on the sofa, alone, his head in his hands. She sat down beside him, crossing her legs and tapping his shoulder. 

"Go away" he said angrily. "I've had enough people making fun of me" 

"I wasn't going to make fun of you." Said Julianne. "I wanted to see if you were ok" 

He looked up at her to see if she was being sincere. She was. 

"I'm fine." He said, a bit harshly. "Just a headache and a sore arm" 

"I can get you something for that headache, you know. I've for a readily brewed potion in my room"

"Why would you have that?"

"Because you're not the only person in the world who's ever gotten a headache." She said sarcastically. He scowled but she just smiled at him, running up the stairs to her dorm. Draco looked at her, the way her long black hair swayed gently but didn't get messed up.

Julianne came back a few moments later and handed him a vial with a dark blue potion inside of it. He looked at it cautiously, but took it, and took a big gulp, and handed the small vial back to Julianne. He leaned back on the sofa, closing his eyes. Julianne studied his face. He's never come off to her as attractive the past three years, but now she could see what Pansy made the fuss about. His skin was clear, pale, and practically flawless which was a surprise considering most teens in the school got a few pimples every now and then. Not Draco. His nose was perfectly straight and pointed, his cheekbones high. His eyelashes were long and along with his eyebrows, were a darker shade than his hair. 

Julianne broke away from her thoughts as he looked at her. His eyes were a stunning grey, and they looked stunningly annoyed most of the time. He was surprisingly calm now, probably a side effect of the potion. 

"It was your own fault" Julianne started softly. "I don't see why you love tormenting Potter so much. You're always the one to provoke any fight"

Draco groaned at her. "Just leave me alone, will you" 

And she did. 

 

It was the 30th of October a few days later, the day when the two other schools were meant to arrive. They were standing outside, near the black lake, awaiting their arrival. Draco pulled Julianne back quite harshly and she flinched, being used to getting treatment like that from her father.

"Sorry" he said, referring to the pulling, but it didn't seem like he really meant it. "Anyway, I wanted to know why you've been avoiding me lately"

Julianne raised her eyebrows at him. "I haven't been avoiding you" she said. "I don't know why you've been talking to me so much the past few weeks. We've never even had a proper conversation before this year."

Draco looked a bit embarrassed. "Well I can stop if you want" he said rather harshly. Julianne looked taken aback.

"No, I don't want you to." She said softly. "Just surprised that's all."

"Then why have you been avoiding me" 

"You told me to leave you alone. I did" 

"When?"

"After the ah, ferret incident"

"I didn't mean that" he said childishly. "You should have known"

Julie looked at him. He was so spoilt, and she couldn't imagine him every admitting he was wrong. And yet, she enjoyed talking to him, as much as she enjoyed talking to her friends. But sometimes he was just too demanding and she got enough of that at home.

"Whatever" she said, walking towards Pansy. 

The two schools arrived soon, both having dramatic entrances. The Hogwarts students began whispering when they saw Viktor Krum. 

The Hogwarts students took their seats at their tables, and Beauxbatons joined the Ravenclaws, while Durmstrang joined the Slytherins. Julianne noticed that Malfoy managed to sit beside Krum, and looked very smug about it.

To her surprise, a Durmstrang boy sat beside her too. He was very handsome, with prominent Slavic featured and dark brown tousled hair, which lool elegantly messy. 

"Nikolai Raskov" he introduced himself to Julianne and the other girls. He stuck out his hand to her, and Julianne did the same, assuming he wanted he shake it. 

"Julianne Ashworth" she said as he, to her surprise, leaned down to kiss her hand. Lyndsey and Pansy giggled softly behind her. 

"It's a pleasure meeting you" he said. He had a thick accent, but he still spoke clearly. His voice was deep, masculine and Julianne was in awe. He seemed to be like some fairytale prince from a faraway land. 

"You too" said Julianne softly. She was blushing a bit and was hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Are you going to be entering the tournament?" Nikolai asked politely. He rolled his 'r's which just seemed to make his voice more attractive. 

Julianne shook her head. "No, I'm too young. Are you?" Nikolai nodded in reply. 

"Yes, the students in our school have been preparing for it for months"

"Well, I hope you're chosen" she said to which he replied. 

"I hope so too." 

They went back to eating, and Julianne turned around to Pansy with a huge grin on her face.

"Someone's starting to have fun already" she whispered cheekily. 

Then Dumbledore began talking, introducing the panel of judges, and bringing out the goblet of fire. After this, he sent everyone off to bed. 

Draco caught up with Julianne. "Did you see?" He asked proudly. "I was talking to Krum. He even said he'd show me a few Quidditch tricks" 

Julianne smiled at him. "This whole thing is turning out to be really exciti---" 

She was interrupted by the sound of her own name. Nikolai was catching up with her, nodding to Draco. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt" he said "but would you be able to show me and my friends around the castle tomorrow?" 

"Yes, of course" replied Julianne. "Where will I meet you?" 

"The hall where we had dinner, at 11 if that would be ok?" 

"Yeah, that's fine, I'll see you tomorrow then." 

"Goodnight Julianne" he said as he leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on her cheek. 

Julianne smiled, "Goodnight Nikolai" and he walked off with his friends. 

She turned to Draco, to see him standing with his mouth agape.

"Jealous, Malfoy?" She asked teasingly. 

"You wish, Ashworth" he smirked in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started posting this fanfiction on Wattpad, under the same title and the same username. Check it out if you can!
> 
> -Raena


	6. In the Armchair at Midnight

The next day was Halloween, and Julianne woke up more excited than ever. She got dressed in her nicest casual clothes and applied a bit of mascara and lipstick. When she went down to the Great Hall for breakfast, she took a seat beside Draco who was watching students put their names in the goblet of fire.

"Have you seen the Weasley twins?" He asked. "They thought they could trick the age line with an ageing potion. The idiots" 

"Why, what happened to them?" Asked Julianne, reaching for the bowl of cereal.

"They grew beards and their hair went white, and then they started fighting" replied Draco casually. 

"Well, it's a pity to have missed that". 

Julianne saw the Durmstrang students come up in a group, a few of them putting their names in. They cheered as Krum put his name into the goblet. 

Julianne saw Nikolai who was approaching her with a few other boys behind him. Krum was one of them, though he seemed to be falling back while talking to another boy. 

"Good morning" she greeted politely. "Ready to go?" 

Draco looked a bit annoyed when Julianne got up and they all introduced themselves to her, though that might have been his normal expression. She turned around and left without saying anything to him. She seemed too worked up about Nikolai to even notice him. He sighed as he watched her walk away.

He didn't like her, or at least he wouldn't admit it to himself. He thought she was pretty and smart and kind, and he wanted to at least be friends with her because the friends he had now weren't really people you could hold a conversation with. 

Julianne looked back, seeing Draco sitting on his own. She didn't know where his friends went and he looked a bit sad, or just bored. 

"Malfoy!" She called out. He turned around. "Do you want to join us?" 

He nodded, grabbed an apple from the table and got up. The Durmstrangs greeted him and he stood by Viktor, talking to him as if he was an old friend, trying to make sure that Potter and Weasley saw this. 

Julianne was walking with Nikolai and his friend Alexei on either side of her. She showed then where the common rooms were, leading them into the Slytherin one, then the dungeons with the Potions classroom and the kitchen, though she did say you weren't meant to go into the kitchen. 

"But if you really want to" she said to Nikolai in a hushed voice, "just tickle the pear". She nodded towards the painting of the fruit. 

Then they went through the library, a few other classrooms, the courtyard, the Quidditch field. The group started heading back towards the castle when Nikolai stopped her. He led her up into the stands, where they sat down in thr enclosed steps. 

"I heard that we can go out tomorrow" he said " to a village -- Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah it's Hogsmeade" she confirmed. 

"Well, would you like to go with me?"

"Like a date?"

"Yes, like a date" Nikolai said a bit nervously. Julianne smiled. 

"Yes, of course!" Nikolai smiled at this too.

"I will see you tomorrow then. I can pick you up in your common room at maybe 11 again?"

"Yes that'll be great" Exclaimed Julianne. She hasn't been this excited about anything for a while. She looked at Nikolai, his unruly brown hair, strong jawline and bright blue eyes. He was handsome, kind, gentlemanly, what else could you ask for? 

He gave her a kiss on the cheek and held out his hand to help her down the stairs. 

A few minuted later Julie burst into the common room, finding her girl friends sitting on the sofa. 

"Guess what happened" she said excitedly. 

The girls looked at her in question as they haven't seen Julianne that excited since… Well, they've never seen her this excited. 

"I'm going on a date!!" She exclaimed. 

At this, Lyndsey pulled her in closer and sat her down on the sofa, the other girls sitting around her. 

"Spill" said Theresa. 

And Julianne told them about Nikolai and about how he held out his hand for her and how he kissed her on the cheek. The girls were excited both for her and with her, and there mood didn't change when they went to the Great Hall at dinner. 

Dumbledore got up and walked over to the goblet. It was time to pick out the names. From Durmstrang it was Viktor Krum, no surprise there. From Beauxbatons, a girl called Fleur Delacour. From Hogwarts, Cedric Diggory, a handsome Hufflepuff boy. Dumbledore was about to finish up when the goblet gave out another name.

"Harry Potter" he read out. 

The hall went silent, everyone staring at the boy. 

"Of course" whispered Pansy to Julianne. "Of course he gets it." Julianne just pursed her lips, wondering what was going to happen next. 

 

Everyone seemed to calm down after dinner and the school took to sides, with Harry or against him. Julianne didn't know what to believe. Did Potter need that extra bit of attention??? Was he even capable of putting his name in the goblet???

Julianne was lying stretched out on the sofa in the common room. Pansy was sitting on the armchair staring into space while Lyndsey and Theresa were going over a bit of homework.

"You know, Julie" started Lyndsey "if you have a date tomorrow, you should probably plan out what you're going to wear."

"Yeah" agreed Pansy. "Get your best lingerie ready" 

Julie groaned. "It's not like we're going to do anything! It's just a date!" 

"Just a date with who?" Came a voice from behind them. Julie raised her head but didn't fully get up. Blaise Zabini was standing with Draco, looking at the girls. Julianne didn't talk to Blaise much, only every now and then. He was always flirty, always a bit of a player. Probably not the best person to actually date, but she could see why he'd make a good friend, especially to Draco. 

"Julie's going on a date with a Durmstrang boy" teased Pansy. 

"Already?" Asked Blaise with a grin. "They only arrived a few days ago, and you've already got yourself a date? Nice going Julie." 

Julianne smiled at him. "Thanks" she said. 

Then she looked at Draco who was standing beside Blaise. He looked a bit tense and was staring at a point on the wall, as if to avoid looking at Julianne. She brushed it off to nothing.

 

It was past midnight and Julianne still wasn't asleep. She was nervous, over so many things. Tomorrow's date, her parents, school. She felt like something was off in her life, and she kept relating it back to her father. She thought about him yelling at her the day before the Quidditch game, she thought about her mother trying to defend him. She wondered if she was going to turn out like her mother, married to a man who seemed only to be able to feel anger. She wondered if her mother was always so meek and obedient. She hoped her life wouldn't turn out that way.

Julianne got restless after staying in bed for so long without sleeping. She got out, put on slippers and a dressing gown and headed down to the common room, wanting to sit in front of the fireplace and read. She went down the stairway and lit up her surrounding with her wand. She almost jumped as she saw another figure on the armchair, staring back at her. 

And of course, it was Draco Malfoy. 

She sat down on the armrest of the chair, looking down at him. His eyes were sleepy, his usually neat hair was a mess. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Couldn't sleep" Julie replied shortly. "You?"

"I'm thinking" he said. 

"About?" Draco looked at her in confusion at her nosy question. She didn't take it back. 

"Stuff" he replied simply. In fact, Draco was thinking about her. He got this bad feeling in his gut when he found out about her date tomorrow, and he couldn't find a reasonable explanation for it. Nikolai seemed nice, and it's not like Draco was jealous. It was something else about the whole situation.. it was as if Nikolai seemed fake. The way he kissed her cheek, the way he was suspiciously gentlemanly.. sure, it was attractive and that's why Julianne wanted to go out with him in the first place, but it just didn't seem right. 

Julianne nodded. She was still looking at him, still sitting on the armrest. 

"You could sit on the sofa" said Draco. "There's a bit more space there" 

"I like the armchair more. It's closer to the fireplace. So I'll stay here, if that's fine with you" retorted Julianne, with a hint of sarcasm. 

The armchair was wide, so Draco scooched over a bit. Julianne moved into the space beside him, leaning back and spreading her arms dramatically. 

"Don't make me regret this," he groaned as he moved her arm from his chest. Julianne laughed lightly. Then she yawned and leaned her head on Draco's shoulder. 

Draco was very surprised at this. People didn't really tend to lean their heads on his shoulder, or share armchairs with him for that matter. He was always so arrogant and so distant to everyone else, that being affectionate (even the tiniest bit) wasn't something Draco Malfoy was used to at all.

He figured this didn't mean anything though, since it was Julianne. She liked physical contact, and she liked people as a general. You'd see her linking arms with her girlfriends when walking around the corridors, leaning on them, putting her head on their shoulders. Last year, during the summer, he remembered seeing her with Lyndsey's head on her lap, braiding her hair. But she was only like that towards her friends, her close friends, and Draco wasn't sure she considered him a close friend. Maybe she was just tired. 

Draco gently moved his shoulder up so Julie took her head off it. 

"I'm going to bed now" he said. "Goodnight". 

And after a few minutes of having the armchair to herself, Julie decided she felt lonely and went back to bed too.


	7. The Date

Julianne was buzzing the next morning, even though she didn't get that much sleep. She woke extra early to do nicer makeup and style her hair. She dressed in a pretty black dress and high boots, knowing that she would probably be too cold, but what kind of date would it be if the boy didn't offer her his coat?

She stuck her wand in her boot and went down the stairs to find Nikolai already waiting for her. He was resting on an armchair, the armchair she sat on last night with Draco. His arm was casually draped over the back, showing off the muscles.

"Nikolai" Julianne called. He turned around right away, grinning at her. Even his teeth were perfect, straight and white. 

"Julianne" he said softly. "You look beautiful" 

Julie smiled up at him and linked her arm with his. He smiled at this too, and the pair made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. 

Lyndsey and Theresa were already there, along with Draco on the other side of the table, who was sitting with Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle. Julianne and Nikolai sat down, very close together, and filled their plates. 

Lyndsey kept giggling and making kissy faces whenever Julianne turned to look at her, and Julianne blushed to this, but smiled. Theresa would roll her eyes, but smile nonetheless. 

Draco and Blaise, on the other hand, had disgusted looks on their faces. They kept whispering to each other, and Draco admitted that he didn't see what the big deal about Nikolai was. 

"He's just another rich prat" he said quietly to Blaise.

"You're a rich prat" Blaise replied. 

When breakfast finished, Nikolai stood up and stretched out his arm for Julianne, even though it was only standing up from a bench and she hardly needed help. She took it and he "accidentally" pulled her a bit too hard, so that she bumped into his chest. 

"Oops" he said. "I'm sorry"

"No worries" said Julianne with a slight smirk. 

Lyndsey, Pansy (who had appeared a little while after Julianne joined the table), and Theresa made an "aww" noise and whispered to each other, while Draco pretended to gag. 

As they walked off, hand in hand, Draco started to make an impression of Nikolai, 

"Look at me, I'm Nikolai and Julianne loves me for my stunning blue eyes and muscular arms" he said with a fake accent. He was referring to a comment he overheard from her when she was talking to her friends. "I always offer my hand even though I know it's pointless and I loooove kissing girls on the cheek!" 

Blaise laughed at him.

"Draco, mate, if you don't shut up the I'm going to give you a kiss on the cheek"

To this, Draco just made another gagging noise.

 

Hogsmeade was pretty busy, as it was the first outing of the year for most students. Julianne saw a good few classmates, and Lyndsey, Theresa and Pansy, of course, who were there to peek in on Julianne's date. However, they left them alone soon enough, deciding to give them some space. 

Draco and his friends were in Hogsmeade too, and Nikolai and Julianne ran into them at 'The Three Broomsticks'. Julianne had convinced Nikolai to go there when they noticed that 'Madam Puddifoot's', the almost official "date café" was absolutely packed. Some part of Julianne told her that she should hate the pinkness and the frills, but sometimes she thought they were rather cute. 

Julianne and Nikolai sat at a nice table, away from the main crowd and Julie had ordered a Butterbeer, while Nikolai claimed that it was way too sweet for him after trying Julie's. He ordered some black coffee, which was the most disgusting and bitter thing Julie had ever tasted. 

She waved to Draco when she saw him enter the café, but the communication ended at that. She went back to paying attention to Nikolai. He was telling her about his family, and about their huge house.

"It's rather like a castle" he said. "And there's this beautiful indoor garden full of various flowers and butterflies and birds. There's even a stream and a small waterfall. You would love it. You should come visit sometime." 

Julianne nodded in agreement. "It sounds absolutely lovely. I'd love to come and visit." 

They left 'The Three Broomsticks' soon after, deciding to go to Honeydukes. 

"It's rather cold outside, isn't it?" Said Julianne. "Especially after the warmth of the café" 

"That's no problem" said Nikolai, taking off his cape and placing it on Julie's shoulders. It was a different cape to the one he wore when he arrived, still fur, but lighter. 

"Thank you, but won't you be cold?" 

"I'm used to the cold" he said. "Besides, knowing that you're comfortable will warm me" 

Julie practically melted at this, smiling up at Nikolai. He was so cheesy, but so romantic, she felt like she was going to burst. 

She held the cape together with one hand, holding his hand with the other. The cape was noticeably too big for her, it was almost trailing off the ground. It smelled like Nikolai faintly, fresh and musky. A childish part of her wanted to run forward and watching the cape float after her. 

They went into Honeydukes and Nikolai spoiled her with treats, buying out a type of almost everything that the store had, ignoring Julianne's objections. 

Then Julianne led him towards the Shrieking Shack, where they sat leaning on the fence guarding it. Julie moved closer and closer to Nikolai as they took out a Chocolate Frog. Julianne opened it and grabbed it before it could hop out, ripping off a leg and giving it to Nikolai. 

"Horrifying" he commented, as she ripped off the second leg for herself. 

They sat there for a bit in silence, enjoying each others presence. Nikolai broke the silence first, turning around to face Julie. He took her hands in his own. 

"Julianne, I know I haven't known you for long, but I think you're amazing. Would you like to be my girlfriend?" 

Julie held back a squeal. 

"Yes!" She exclaimed. Nikolai smiled, satisfied. 

"May I kiss you?" 

Julianne replied by leaning in and pressing her lips to his. They were warm and slightly chapped, and he tasted like chocolate. Their lips (and then tongues) danced together. He moved his hand to cup her face and she moved her's around his neck, pulling him closer. She pulled away first, looking him in the eyes. 

"Ive got to say, Julianne, you're a brilliant kisser"

"Why thank you, you aren't so bad yourself"

 

Draco and Blaise saw them kissing. Not in the creepy way, but Blaise happened to notice them as they were walking past, and although they were a bit away, their figures were easy to distinguish. 

Draco saw Julianne lean in first and pull Nikolai closer, and he stopped looking after that. 

Draco scrunched up his face, but Blaise just shrugged. 

"Are you sure you aren't jealous?" Blaise asked.

"Of who, him??? Why would I be jealous" 

"Because Julie's kissing him and not you. And because you haven't shut up about him all day, proclaiming about how annoying and fake he is. The only other person you talk like that about is Potter."

"I don't care that Julie's kissing him, why would I care?" 

"Because she's pretty, and kind, and intelligent, and one of the only people who genuinely nice to you" 

"Everyone's nice to --"

"Oh don't hit me with that" said Blaise. "You know that everyone secretly thinks you're a prick. Everyone apart from her" he nodded in Julie's direction. 

"I'm not jealous" said Draco grumpily. "I just don't like him" 

Blaise nodded, but even his nod seemed sarcastic. Draco let out a huff and began walking back in the direction of the castle, not daring to look at Julianne and Nikolai.

 

Later in the evening, Julie got back from her date and her and the girls were huddled together in the common room. They were asking for details, lots of them, and Julianne kept rambling on about how kind he was and how he bought her all of those sweets (which she had already shared with him and the girls) and how he kissed her and it was the most amazing kiss. 

"And guess what" she said. "I am officially his girlfriend!" This came out a bit too loudly, and while Pansy reached out to hug her, she heard a voice from the armchair. 

"Will you shut up about him already" it was Draco, who looked really annoyed at her and was clenching his knuckles. 

Julianne lifted her head up proudly. "You shut up. It's none of your business anyway" and she walked off to her dormitory, the girls following after her.


	8. Missed Invitations

The next few weeks have been rather uneventful and insignificant for Julianne. She was going along with her classes as normal, still going out with Nikolai, and still not talking to Draco after their petty argument which wasn't really an argument. 

Draco didn't seem to care about it though, or so Julie thought. He was too preoccupied with teasing and mocking Potter, including making badges that said 'Potter Stinks'. It was impossibly childish, yet slightly amusing, but Julianne would never admit that. She was convinced Malfoy had some kind of obsession with Potter, because at least half of the attention he was constantly getting was coming from Draco, even though it wasn't exactly positive. He even got into another run in with Harry, which resulted with Goyle and Hermione being hit with curses.

There was a lot of tension in the school, especially with Rita Skeeter's magazine coverage. She posted articles about Harry Potter, and even mentioned Hermione, which caused some of the Slytherins, including Pansy, to make fun of them.

The first task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament came quickly, and the entire school was in the stands watching. 

Julianne watched the first champion, Cedric,get past the dragon but after that she decided to go back to the castle. She was feeling sick, has been for the past few days, and it was really acting up now. She was shivery, feverish, and had an unpleasant lightheaded feeling. Julianne entered the common room, only to find that Draco entered it a bit after she did. 

"What are you doing here?"She asked, rather rudely. 

"Came to see why you left" he replied casually. "The task was getting boring anyway" 

Julianne knew this was far from true, especially since he didn't even wait to see Potter. And she knew how much Draco wanted him to fail and embarrass himself. There was another reason. 

"I was feeling sick" she explained coldly. He just nodded and sat down on the sofa beside her. She looked annoyed at him and he could tell that she didn't really want him there. She was tense and was trying her best not to look at him. 

"I'm sorry" he let out very quickly. Julianne turned around immediately. 

"You're what?"

"You heard me. I said it once, I'm not saying it again. I know you're still annoyed because of the time I told you to shut up"

Julianne stared at him. He looked sincere enough, as sincere as Draco Malfoy could be anyway. 

"Okay" she said finally. They both fell silent. After a few minutes, Draco got up to leave. 

"Why you care so much all of a sudden?" Julianne asked as he turned around. He turned back to her, with a slight smirk. 

"Why do you care that I care?" He said. Julie groaned. 

"Answer the question" she said impatiently. "This is the second time you've approached me like this. And you never used to talk to me before. You just started talking to me after that time at the World Cup" she was referring to the terror attack, where Draco proved to be more helpful and kind than she had ever seen him. After seeing that side of him she didn't mind the idea of being a close friend, but there was still a lot about him that bothered her. 

"Well, it's because you're nice to be around. You're one of the few people in our year who's a pureblood Slytherin, and is actually a nice person. I'd like to be your friend. " Draco had to push a lot of his pride aside in order to say that. 

"And that's it?" 

"I guess" said Draco and turned around to leave. Again, Julianne stopped him.

"Why do you hate Nikolai so much?" Draco faced her again.

"Why do you care?" He asked and Julianne expression turned even more annoyed. She glared at him, but he wouldn't say anything until she answered first. 

"Because you're my friend" she stressed the last word. 

"There's something off about him" Draco said. "I can't place it, but something's definitely off" 

"Maybe it's because you're just jealous" Julianne muttered quietly. Draco knew he wasn't meant to hear, but he heard. He didn't sat anything to her. 

"I'm going back to watch" he said. "You should get that cold checked out". And he finally left. 

Julianne didn't get her cold checked out, she just went to her dorm and lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. She got restless soon enough and went to the bathroom to take off the makeup she had on. 

She stared at herself in the mirror as she wiped away the mascara, the blush and the lipstick. Her hair was straight and black, reaching down to her waist. She had her mother's hair. When she saw pictures of her parents while they were young, she saw how alike she was to her mother. The same long black hair. The same plump lips, the cupid's bow defines clearly. Her mother had changed so much, and she looked older than her age. 

Helen Ashworth's hair was shorter now, already greying slightly at the roots. It had lost its shine. Her lips were thinner, paler, constantly dry. It was as if she began losing her resemblance to her daughter. 

Julianne had a lot of her father's features too, and she hated it. She reminded herself of him sometimes. She had his nose, thin, and straight, a Roman nose. She has his high cheekbones. And she had his eyes, which she hated more than anything. 

Round, doe eyes, with a layer of thick black eyelashes on top. They were a deep blue color, slightly brighter in the natural light. And she hated them, she wanted to close them and never look at herself again. Her father's eyes tended to have this glint, a malicious, cruel, glint, which was especially visible when paired with the thin lines on his forehead, and the slight squint he did when he was angry. She wondered if she had that too. She couldn't see it in the mirror. 

Her father was an important figure in her life, but she hated him. She had preferred her mother ever since she was a child. Marcus always had high expectations, punishing Julianne whenever she didn't reach them. She remembered how he taught her to write, and she remembered how much she hated her own writing because it resembled his. The same looped g's and j's, the same nearly curved s. 

She was taught to write and read by her father, and do draw and solve maths questions by her mother. She loved drawing now, and numbers were easier for her to understand than words. She blamed her father for her hate towards writing, though she still loved to read. 

He started out patiently, going through the alphabet with her. She was good at her a's and ok at her b's. Her father started getting angry at the c's, which were either too round or too narrow or not curved enough. And then he started getting angry at her at every letter. She's write pages and pages of the same letters, and he'd rip them up and tell her to do them again, because they weren't good enough. She was afraid of him ever since. 

 

Julianne drifted off to sleep later, and when she woke up it was dinner time. She felt a bit better, not as light headed, even though she was still shivery. She sat down at the table, beside Nikolai, who put his arm around her. 

"Where were you?" He asked " I could not find you anywhere"

"I fell asleep in my room" she explained. "Wasn't feeling well." 

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I guess, thanks for asking" 

She'd usually be flattered by how caring he was, by how he pulled her in closer to him and asked what she wanted to eat, reaching all the dishes that were too far for her to reach. This time, she wasn't. She kept thinking about what Draco said. Something was off about him. She couldn't really see it, but a part of her trusted Draco more than she would like to. In the end, she decides that it was nothing worth worrying about for the time being. As much as she liked Nikolai, she decided that her relationship with him probably wouldn't get serious, especially anytime soon. He was going to leave this year after all.

Julianne pushed her thoughts aside and realised that Nikolai was telling her about something.

"So are you going to come?" He asked. "You can bring your friends too" he nodded towards the girls. 

"Yes, of course," replied Julianne, slightly flustered. 

After dinner, Julianne frantically grabbed Pansy's shoulder and pulled her away. She whined in annoyance as Julianne pulled her towards the corridor. 

"I wasn't listening to Nikolai earlier" she said quickly. "And I have no idea what he said and I don't know what I agreed to. Did you hear?"

Thankfully, she did.

"They're going down to Hogsmeade to have a party after hours. The Weasley twins showed one of his friends a secret passage. All the Durmstrang guys are going. They're meant to be celebrating Viktor 's win on the first task."

Julianne let out a sigh. 

"That's not so bad" she said. "You're gonna go with me, right?". 

Pansy nodded. "It's tomorrow. We're meeting in the common room at 10"

And with this the girls headed up to their dorms.


	9. Aphrodite's Poison

The party was going to be big, and Julianne realised this when everyone seemed to be buzzing about it, especially the Slytherins. Everyone was going. 

She put on a tight pink dress which she could probably freeze to death in, but with the amount of people going she was sure that the place was going to be stuffy. It was going to be held in "The Hog's Head". She tied her hair up in a ponytail, letting a few strands fall out and frame her face. 

All of the girls looked gorgeous, especially Pansy who had put her hair in a bun and gotten rid of her bangs, making her face look lighter. They did each other's makeup, and soon they were ready to go. 

Julianne had no idea how so many of them were going to sneak out without being noticed, but it turned out that the Durmstrang boys had set up a sort of system for getting out and getting in. They would go in small groups, with an Invisibility Charm cast over them.

They made their way down to the common room, where people had already started gathering. Draco and Blaise were in the other corner of the room.

"Mate, look who's there" said Blaise, pointing at Julie. Draco stared at her. Her dress hugged every curve on her body and had a low cut cleavage. 

"I know, right" said Blaise, in response to Draco's staring. "I wonder if I should go flirt with her."

"She's still with Nikolai" Draco said his name in disgust. 

"When has that ever stopped me" smirked Blaise. It was true, Nikolai wasn't stopping him. The only reason he didn't go up to Julianne was out of respect for Draco, who had at least a tiny crush on her no matter how much he denied it. 

Julianne, Pansy, Lyndsey and Theresa were one of the first groups to go through the secret passageway. They found themselves in Hogsmeade and quietly made their way to "The Hog's Head". The Durmstrang boys made some sort of reservation, as instead of its usually slightly weird contingent of hags and old drunk wizards, it was empty apart from the bartenders. The Durmstrangs must've also convinced the bartenders that everyone there was of age, as she noticed some boys from the year above her's already drinking Firewhiskey. 

The party had already started, and more and more were arriving steadily. Julie finally found Nikolai, looking as fine as ever. She went up to him as soon as she saw him and he let out a "woah" sound. 

"You look beautiful" he remarked. Julianne blushed. The dress was probably the most revealing thing she owned and she was always too shy to wear it before. But nothing was stopping her now. 

Nikolai wrapped his hands around her waist. The back of the dress was low, very low, so he could feel her bare skin. After a bit of dancing together, he brought the two of them some drinks. Julianne requested some Aphrodite's Poison, a cocktail with a shimmery pink consistency. She claimed that Firewhiskey was too strong for her, she didn't want to get too drunk, but her cocktail proved to live up to the name of a poison, even with its pleasantly sweet strawberry taste. 

Needless to say, she was more than slightly tipsy before she knew it. 

Nikolai started kissing her on the dance floor, couples and friends dancing all around them. It was incredibly packed and stuffy, but all she could feel was him, his hands roaming her body shamelessly, his lips on her lips, and then on her neck. 

Draco was dancing with Pansy when he noticed them, and something hurt inside of him. He was annoyed, he was slightly jealous, and he definitely felt that Nikolai was hardly worthy of Julianne's attention. He was worthy of it though, or so he thought anyway. 

Draco leaned in and kissed Pansy too, hoping Julie would look over and see, and hoping she'd be jealous. Pansy was shocked, and didn't even respond for the first few seconds. But then she kissed him back, passionately, with all of her feeling. 

Draco realised that she had a crush on him, and mentally cursed himself. Not for leading her on, but mostly for showing that he returned those feelings, even if he didn't. He was hoping Pansy was too drunk to remember it to next day.

He broke off the kiss, and excused himself, not very politely. Pansy went running to tell Lyndsey and Theresa, while Draco searched for Julianne, they weren't anywhere to be seen. He went up the stairs to the second floor of the building, which acted as a sort of hostel. He heard them before she saw them.

Julianne was giggling, and Nikolai was telling her things that Draco didn't want to hear. He felt grossed out and disgusted, not just because he might have been just a bit jealous, but because he suddenly realised how much older Nikolai was. He was seventeen, a legal adult. Hearing him tell Julianne about how much "he wanted to be with her and in her" and then hearing her moan lightly made Draco enraged. 

The rooms were all locked, so they were in a broom cupboard. He felt sick just thinking about them in there together. He opened the door quickly, his wand on the ready, and Stunned Nikolai. The sight before him was shocking. Julianne was wide eyed as her boyfriend fell towards the wall, slumping down. Her hair was a mess, her dress was hoisted up to her waist. She pulled it down self consciously as she started crying. She has no idea why she was crying, but she was drunk to the point where she didn't need an excuse to cry. 

Draco took her by the arm, pulling her out of the small room. He left Nikolai in there, who was starting to come to his senses. Draco wiped Julianne's tears away, somewhat harshly, and pulled her downstairs and through the main crowd of the party. They entered the passageway into Hogsmeade. She leaned on the wall and sighed. 

"Why did you do that?" She asked Draco, obviously angry at him. Draco didn't bother replying. She was too drunk to reason with, so he just put her arm around her, ignoring her hesitations, and led her back to Hogwarts, back to the dungeons, back to their common room. 

Draco realised where he made the mistake. He should have asked one of her friends to come with them, as there was no way Julianne would be able to go upstairs and find her own dorm room in her current state. He decided to wait with her down in the common room, on the couch.

This didn't work out very well as no one was coming back from the party for a while. 

"I want to go to bed" said Juliann in a whiny tone. "Take me to bed. Pleeeaase" 

Draco sighed. He wouldn't be able to go up to the girl dormitories with her, and didn't want to let her go alone. So he took her hand and lead her up to his own room. 

Julianne threw herself on his bed, taking off her shoes, before realising she needed to throw up and running to the bathroom. Draco didn't know what to do with her. He got her into his bed and got her a glass of water. She held it with both hands, like a child, and drank it in small sips. 

Then she crawled under the covers, and Draco found a spare blanket he had for the winter, laying it out on the floor for himself. He lay down there, even though it was really uncomfortable, but he was so tired he didn't really care. 

"Draco?" 

"What." 

"I'm lonely" Julianne moaned.

"That's too bad" Draco said angrily, wanting to go to sleep. He was very harsh towards Julianne, partially blaming her for being so irresponsible. 

Julianne clumsily climbed off the bed and lay down beside him on the floor. 

"I don't want to be alone" she said. 

Draco realised that he was either going to share the small blanket on the floor with her, or the bed. The bed seemed to be a much better option. Julie climbed in first, Draco after her. He tried to distance himself for decency, but she just snuggled her face into his arm and wrapped both of her arms around his. Draco closed his eyes, surprisingly feeling more at comfort than ever. 

 

"What the hell???" Were the words that woke Draco up. 

"Why am I in your bed and why were you hugging me?" 

"You were pissed drunk last night." Explained Draco groggily. "You couldn't find your way back to your room. I didn't know what else to do." 

Julianne got out of his bed, put on her shoes and quickly left the room.


	10. Trouble in Paradise

Julianne didn't listen to Draco, no matter how much he tried to convince her. Over the next few days he kept telling her to stay away from Nikolai, that he was too old for her, that his intentions weren't right. Julianne couldn't fully remember what happened that night, she remembered kissing Nikolai and she remembered Draco stunning him. She didn't remember feeling vulnerable or uncomfortable. 

Draco's words only kicked in a few weeks later, when it was a bit too late. 

Nikolai was walking her to the common room after dinner, when Julie pulled him into a broom closet. 

"I've been wanting to talk to you for a while" she said. "And no other place seems private."

"Go on" he said as he took out his wand to light up the closet. Her face looked serious, something that Nikolai wasn't used to as Julianne tended to be lighthearted and giggly around him. 

"I don't know if we should stay together" she said. "And it's not because I don't like you, in fact I like you a lot" she added quickly. Nikolai looked grim.

"Then why?" 

"What's going to happen after this year, when you go home?"

"I'll write to you and come visit you and you'll come visit me"

"I don't think that will be enough to keep us going" said Julie. "And I don't think we should be together anymore. I want to get over you before you leave" 

"But that doesn't have to happen! We can spend holidays together and live together when we leave school and get married and -- " Julianne cut him off right there.

"I'm fourteen" she said. "I'm too young for that sort of commitment. I'm not even dreaming about marriage!"

"But what if I propose to you now, and we can get married whene-- "

"I don't want to get married! I don't even know you that well! We should end this, right here and now, to stop us from getting hurt. It's not ri--"

It was Nikolai's turn to cut Julianne off, and he did so by kissing her gently. He pulled away soon,

"Look me in the eyes and tell me we're not right for each other" 

Julianne looked at him and held his hand with both of her's as she spoke softly.

"We're not. You're too old for me, you're looking for different things in life. We're not right for each other."

Nikolai kissed her again. 

"You're not going to change my mind by kissing me."

"I can try" 

And he kissed her again, and again, and Julianne didn't try to resist. He was gentle and loving. At first anyway, as their kiss turned more forceful, more harsh, and more passionate, from Nikolai's side. Julie pulled away. 

"Stop" she said quietly. 

"Why? I love you."

"You can't love me!" Julianne exclaimed, raising her voice. "You can't! " 

"I can" 

And he kissed her again, forcing her into the wall. Julianne had never realised how much bigger than her he was until now. He was so much taller, with broader shoulder, so much more muscly. That was when Draco's words kicked in. 

She tried to pull away, but Nikolai was pinning her to the wall with his own weight, so she couldn't. He was being dominant, almost possessive. She could feel him against her, all of him.

He pulled away and Julianne let out a relieved breath. But then he started kissing her neck harshly, leaving marks for sure. One of his hands was resting around the base of her throat. He wasn't putting any pressure on it, but it still worried Julie. 

"Nikolai, stop it" 

He didn't listen. He pulled off her already unbuttoned cardigan and started unbuttoning her shirt. She tried to push him off, but he was too strong, and she was too panicky. He moved his hand from her throat to her breast, while the other one wandered down, pulling her skirt up. 

"Stop!" 

Julianne was shaking, crying, terrified.

"I'm telling you, I'm in love with you!" He said angrily, kissing her again. His hand was moving her underwear to the side, the other squeezing her breast through her bra. He let go for a second, moving away to unzip his pants. That's when Julianne slammed the door open and backed off, reaching for her wand and taking it out. She pointed it at him, her hand shaky. 

He zipped has pants back and got his own wand, pointing it at Julianne, his expression a mixture of anger and sadness. 

"You won't dare hurt me" he said in a hushed tone. "You know that you love me, you know that you want me."

That's where he was wrong. She sent a very shaky "Confundo! " his way, but he was on the ready. He reacted with a "Protego", shielding himself from the spell. It bounced back, but thankfully didn't hit Julianne. 

"Expelliarmus!" He said and Julianne's wand came flying to him. He tossed it away. She didn't know what to do. There was no point in running, he'd just send a hex her way, there was no point in reaching for her wand… 

Nikolai's wand conveniently flew from his hand, and Julianne saw Draco and Blaise standing there, both of them with their wands in their hands. Julianne grabbed her own wand from the floor in one quick motion.

She held it up at Nikolai, her hands still shaky, her face still tear streaked. She hadn't even realised that her shirt was still halfway unbuttoned. She was a mess, but she walked closer and pointed her wand at his throat, digging it into his skin. All Draco could see was pure fierceness, pure hate, painting her face. 

"If you ever dare lay another finger on me ever again," she started, her voice still shaky, both from anger and fear, "then I will curse you all the way to hell" 

Nikolai looked at her silently, to which she started to dig her wand into his throat stronger. 

"Understand?" She asked, out of pure spite. A part of her just wanted him to see that she was strong, she made the rules. She wanted him to make sure that the idea of her being a weak little girl he could take advantage of completely left his mind. 

He nodded, but this wasn't enough. She didn't move her wand until he hoarsely said, "I understand."

Then she stepped back, her wand still on him. He picked up his own wand and left quickly, Julianne staring him down. When he was out of sight, she slumped down against the wall, wrapping her arms around her knees and burying her head in them.

Draco sat down beside her, and Blaise decided to leave the two alone. He sat beside her for a while, not knowing what to say. Julianne was usually pretty emotional, and she wasn't embarrassed because of it. She didn't really care what other people thought, and while with some things she was very proud, this wasn't one of them. And Draco, he wasn't good at dealing with emotions. He hardly ever understood his own, so he just resorted to mean jokes and sarcasm. He had no idea what to do with the panicked, heartbroken girl beside him. 

He put a hand on her shoulder, but she tensed and moved away from the touch. Draco could hear her quiet sobs and her heavy breathing. It made him unexplainably sad, and he just really wanted her to stop. 

"Julie" he called softly. "Julie, look at me." He touched her hand with his fingertips, as lightly as he possibly could, just to get her attention.

"You were right, okay?" She snapped at him, lifting her head up. "You were right about him. Are you happy? Now leave me alone" 

Draco was a bit taken aback. He wasn't even thinking of that right now. 

"Julie…" he trailed off. He took a deep breath. "I don't care that I was right, I don't care" 

Coming from Draco Malfoy, this was big. He took her hand, seeing as she wasn't backing away from his touch anymore. 

"Please look at me" he whispered.

And this time, she did. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her cheeks were wet with tears. 

"You're safe now" Draco continued. He was hoping he said the right things. He lightly squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back. Then she moved closer to him, putting her head on his should and wrapping her arms around him tightly. Once again, he was taken aback. 

Draco hugged her too. She stopped crying now, she was just shivering. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked. 

Julianne stayed silent for a few moments. 

"I told him we shouldn't be together" she started shakily, "and he didn't agree and he kissed me and then he said he wanted to m-marry me, and I told him no and he kissed me again and he wouldn't stop and I told him to stop but he wouldn't stop and --" 

Julianne said this all in one breath, very fast. She stopped abruptly and just closed her eyes, leaning into Draco's shoulder. 

"Come on," he said, getting up."let me take you to the infirmary."

"No". Julianne protested. "I don't want anyone asking questions now. And I'm fine" she got up too, and steadily headed to the common room, leaving Draco behind. 

He stared after her, knowing that persuading her would be pointless. He thought about how angry she was at Nikolai, and no one could blame her, but she was malicious. Her tone, it was almost cruel. It was a side of her that Draco had never seen, a side he never imagined she had. 

He had questioned why she was a Slytherin several times before. She was too trusting sometimes, too rash, too emotional. But her outburst showed him that she was also strong, and that she had a part of her which wanted power, a part that couldn't be completely contained. He realised that no other house could handle her, accept her. 

Julianne was thinking about the same thing, about how she threatening Nikolai. And it scared her more than the incident itself. She saw her father in herself, and she saw him more clearly than ever.


	11. Preperations and the Yule Ball

Julianne was not okay. The incident with Nikolai hit her hard and she realised that she needed to start being more careful and less trusting and naive. She had nightmares from it, horribly exaggerated. She never went to the infirmary and never reported him. She didn't even tell her friends what happened, simply describing it as a "very rough break up". The only ones who knew were Draco and Blaise, and she made them both swear that they wouldn't say a word to anyone about it. She didn't want anyone to know, and she didn't care if Nikolai wasn't punished. In fairness, she thought he was suffering enough when she saw him at the Slytherin table the next day, sporting an ugly black eye and very broken nose. She didn't doubt that this was Draco and Blaise's doing, maybe even with the help of Crabbe and Goyle. 

Julianne needed a distraction, and it came to her in the form of a Yule Ball. Seeing Professor Snape showing his students how to dance was distracting enough, and she focused on planning her outfit and finding a date. She wasn't even sure if she wanted one, because the idea of having to deal with another boy made her frustrated. She and Theresa even made a pact that if neither of them found dates, they would go together. 

The week before the ball, Julie had several options. Theodore Nott (another Slytherin in her year) had asked her, along with Blaise, Nikolai's friend Alexei (who's offer she declined right away, not in the most polite way either), a Ravenclaw boy called Toby Byrne, and of course, Draco Malfoy. Julie liked Malfoy, he was able to be nicer than she thought, even though it was a bit weird seeing him like that. It was as if he cared about her. She still didn't know who to go with, and probably should have decided sooner so the boys could ask someone else. But Julianne's mind was too preoccupied for that.

The next day was a Saturday, and students were allowed to go down to Hogsmeade. Julianne decided to go with Pansy, as both of them found that the dress robes they brought with them weren't really suitable for a ball. They wore their Slytherin scarves and warm coats, and headed down into the cold fearlessly.

"How are you, Julianne?" Asked Pansy. Pansy didn't call her by her full name very often, so Julie was a bit surprised. "In relation to the break up" Pansy continued.  

"I'm fine" she said, only half meaning it.  

"Good." Said Pansy. "Because I wanted to tell you about something."

And Pansy started telling her about the kiss she shared with Draco on the night of the party. She was confused, and had no idea what to do.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Asked Julie. 

"Honestly, I don't know. I thought he would approach me himself and we'd sort everything out. But he's too much of an ass for that."

"Maybe he just doesn't know what to do" said Julianne.

"Or maybe he doesn't like me. I know he asked you to the ball." 

"I haven't said yes yet though" said Julianne. "And I won't, if you're not okay with it. I'll just go with Blaise."

Pansy smiled at that. It was a nice thought. 

"Would you really do that?" 

Julianne nodded. "I'll tell Blaise later today. But be ready, because Draco will probably ask you then"

"Maybe that's a good thing" said Pansy. "Because I need to talk to him anyway, and he can't exactly run away from me in the middle of the dance floor." 

When Julianne told Pansy that she'd go with Blaise and let her take Draco, she realised that she actually wanted to go with Draco herself.  She tried to brush it off, but ended up thinking about him more and more. She wanted to be his friend. She wanted to know him better. His cold, snarky exterior didn't bother her one bit. 

Gladrags Wisardwear welcomed the two girls with open arms. It was close to Christmas, so dress robes were in stock right now, and there was many to choose from.

Pansy found the one she wanted fast, it was the one on the mannequin in the store's window. She looked at others but the realised that she couldn't take her eyes off the pale pink piece of clothing.

Julianne was not so lucky. She tried on what seemed like a million robes, and wasn't satisfied with any. Pansy was getting tired of her complaining and whining. So started finding some for her herself. She found a silver one, made of two fabrics, an opaque one for coverage, and a light, sheer one, which seemed to be enchanted to sparkle and shine, draped over it.

She handed the robe to Julianne who was still in the dressing room. She was being so picky you might have thought she was choosing a wedding dress, but when she took the robe Pansy gave her, she realised that it was "the one".

*  *  *

The Yule Ball came too soon, Christmas Eve along with it. Julianne was happy she wasn't going home for Christmas, spending Christmas with her father and her relatives proved more stressful than enjoyable. However, she sent both of her parents gifts a few days before, hoping they'd deliver by the 25th.  A thin, rose gold necklace for her mother, and a book for her father about Quidditch, which showed moving projections of his favourite teams in the air. She knew that was something he'd appreciate, and for once she actually tried to be nice. 

Julianne finished doing her hair and makeup (she curled her hair slightly so it fell over her shoulder in waves, and applied some silver eyeshadow and pink lip gloss to match her robes), and put on the robes. She looked in the mirror, and she liked herself.  She put a silver headband in her hair, which resembled flowery vines intertwining each other. She looked like a princess, and all of the girls told her so too.

She went downstairs with Pansy, who looked as gorgeous as she did. Her robes accentuated her best features and the colour suited her complexion perfectly. Draco and Blaise were waiting for them at the foot of the stairs, and both of their jaws dropped open when they saw the girls. 

Draco felt quite guilty as he couldn't help but stare at Julianne, instead of Pansy who was his actual date. She looked amazing, dressed in the Slytherin silver.  

Blaise linked arms with Julianne. 

"I have to say," he started. "You clean up nicely"

"You're not bad yourself too" 

Blaise was wearing midnight black robes with golden embroidery on them. 

Draco linked arms with Pansy too, and she looked delighted. The two couples made their way to the Great Hall, which underwent a transformation like the rest of the students. Lights, which turned out to be coming from fairies, silver frost, and garlands of mistletoe and ivy. It was beautiful.

The champions danced first, and Julianne noticed that Hermione was with Krum. She looked stunning, and many people gaped at her, as she looked almost like a different person. 

All the other couples stared to join in eventually, and Blaise asked Julianne for a dance. He was a good dancer, carrying them smoothly to the rhythm. Julianne wasn't bad either. She and the girls have been practicing with each other, just to ensure there was no awkward pauses and no foot stepping. 

"You know," Blaise started with a glint in his eye. "I think Draco's going to want to dance with you next" 

Julianne turned back to see him dancing with Pansy, but looking in her direction every so often. She caught his eye and winked at him.

"What's his deal with me anyway?" She asked Blaise. "He's been acting kind of weird since the start of the year" 

"I'm not sure'' said Blaise. "But it's time he found himself a girlfriend, and that might as well be you" Julianne blushed. "Unless I get to you first" he said with a smile. He kissed her hand when the song ended and Julianne turned back to see Draco approaching them.

And Blaise was right, he did ask her to dance with him. She agreed, looking over at Pansy who sadly nodded in approval. 

"I think you're the most beautiful girl here tonight" said Draco. Julianne's heart melted, but she didn't let herself get flustered. 

"Actually" she said "I think that would be you." 

Draco scowled jokingly and rolled his eyes at her. 

"You should learn how to accept a compliment, Ashworth"

"And you should learn how to dance properly, Malfoy." This was a joke, as Draco was fairly good at dancing. Maybe not as smooth as Blaise, but he still won over with his correct, rhythmic movements but relaxed style. 

Julianne turned back, looking at Pansy, who was sitting at one of the tables with a drink. 

"I know its none of my business but... Did you talk to her?" Asked Julianne, referring to Pansy.

"Yeah but, that didn't go down well. I presume she told you about what happened that night"

"Yeah" Julie replied casually. " You kissed her and then you ran off" 

That made Draco seem worse than he actually was. He pushed back his pride and didn't comment on it. 

"I told her I like someone else" he said, raising his chin.

"Really?" Julianne asked excitedly. "Who?"

'You', said a voice in Draco's head. He ignored it. 

"Just... someone" he said aloud. The song ended at that, and Julianne went back to Pansy. They talked, and Pansy said she'd rather just go back to bed. She seemed a bit angry at her for dancing with Draco, even though she was the one who nodded in approval, so with a few words of reassurance, Julianne left the girl alone. 

The night passed by quickly, and Julianne danced with Blaise and with Draco several more times. When it ended, Draco came up to her, wanting to say something. He couldn't seem to get it out, so he just kissed her cheek and headed up the stairs to his dormitory, leaving Julie to wonder what was going through the boy's head.


	12. Christmas and Kisses

Christmas came the morning after the ball, and Julianne was excited to wake up to find a neat pile of presents at the end of her bed. She had always loved Christmas with a child like passion, the presents, the snow, the overall atmosphere. Even though she grew to hate the Christmas parties that her family held, where her father would either complain about her being in Slytherin or complain about everyone else who was a Slytherin, she loved Christmas mornings when everyone got to open their gifts. 

Julianne took the first gift, a joined one from her mother and father. She unwrapped it to find an elegant black box,  though rather small. Inside was a ring, a ring she recognised because she'd seen it before. It was an old family ring with the letter A on it. It was polished to look like new, and the white gold strap shined immaculately. It was encrusted with black and white diamonds. She put it on her middle finger and looked at her hand from a distance, it was the prettiest piece of jewellery she'd ever owned. 

She got gifts from all of her friends, and ended up with a large pile of sweets and a mixture of beauty items on her bed. She particularly liked a "Kiss-Proof" lipstick from Theresa, which tasted like blue raspberries and bubblegum. 

The gift that caught her eye was large, square, and wrapped in very Slytherin green and silver paper. She opened it to find a book resembling a photo album. As she turned the pages she found that the slots weren't big enough for photos, they were about half size, the size of a chocolate frog card. And then it hit her. It was a Chocolate Frog collector's album, probably the nerdiest thing she owned. And it was undoubtedly from Draco. 

She found that there were notes underneath each slot, stating which card went where in alphabetical order. As she turned the pages, she found some cards were already inserted, a few of the more rare ones. She took our her own cards, which were in a pile in thr drawer of her bedside table, and started putting them in. Julianne was delighted. 

She found a note on her bed, which must have fallen out of the wrapping paper. 

"Merry Christmas, Ashworth  
I hope you enjoy your gift, because only you could enjoy something as nerdy.  

-  Draco"

Julianne could almost hear his snarky voice in the note, and she smiled. Her gift to him was pretty good too, though definitely not as meaningful.

She got him a writing set consisting of a hawk feather quill, a notebook bound in shark leather, and some colour changing ink. Julianne thought that the set would be ideal for journal writing, though Draco didn't strike her as a person who owned a journal. However, she knew he loved showing off, so he would probably end up taking the set to class just to let people see, enjoying every moment of it. 

It was a fairly expensive gift, but Julianne had the money so for her, Christmas was a time to spoil her friends. And besides, she knew that Draco wasn't easily satisfied, so getting something of a high standard wasn't an option.

Julie dressed out of her pyjamas and ran downstairs, hoping to find Draco. Luckily, she did, and he was on the sofa with Blaise. She didn't know why he didn't go to breakfast yet, part of her hoped he was waiting for her. 

"Malfoy!" She exclaimed as she ran over and sat down beside him. A very impulsive part of her acted out, and she very tightly wrapped her arms around Draco, but let go quickly.

"Someone's excited" he said. 

"I loved your gift" said Julianne earnestly. "It's perfect" 

"I'm glad you liked it, but I knew you would anyway. I loved yours too" replied Draco.  "Can you imagine how much more interesting History of Magic will be when I have some colour changing ink?" 

Christmas breakfast was amazing, and there was a larger variety of foods than at normal breakfast. The house elves went out of their way to provide the students with snowflake shaped cereal and Christmas tree shaped toast. 

As almost no one went back to their families for Christmas due to the Yule Ball, the fourth year Slytherins decided to have a small party or gathering in one of the boy's dormitories. The beds were moved to allow space, and cushions were placed on the ground as seats. There were drinks (the most alcoholic being cranberry wine) and snacks, and for the first while everyone just huddled in groups and talked. Julianne got to know two girls who she never really talked to since they weren't in her dormitory, Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis.

After a while of just chatting, Blaise decides to spice things up a little. 

"Who wants to have some fun?" He asked. "Because I've got an empty bottle and it's begging me to spin it" 

Practically everyone joined in, and even though Julianne really didn't want to, her friends pulled her in. 

"I assume everyone knows the rules. You spin the bottle, kiss whoever it points to, and if it point at you then you have to choose someone yourself."

The group sat in a circle, and Julianne looked at them all. She definitely wouldn't want to kiss Crabbe or Goyle, but didn't really mind the rest. 

Blaise himself decided to go first. The bottle spun, stopping on Julianne. 'Well, he's far from the worst' she thought, as she leaned in and pecked him on the lips. 

"No wayyy you call that a kiss" Cried Theo Nott. Julianne had never really talked to him either, except for when he asked her to the Ball. He was nice enough to her, but very obviously mean to everyone who wasn't in Slytherin. Right now, she hated him.

"Yeah, it has to be proper" Lyndsey agreed. 

"Fine" Julianne snapped. Blaise looked the tiniest bit hurt.

Nevertheless, he leaned in, putting his lips on her's. Julianne didn't really expect him to be such a good kisser, and she didn't expect to enjoy the kiss either. He was gentler than she expected too, and for some reason she assumed that that was because he didn't want to bring back any Nikolai memories. 

He pulled away, and everyone cheered. Next was Theo, who kissed Daphne, then Lyndsey kissed Tracey, and poor Pansy had to kiss Goyle. It was Julianne's turn next, and the bottle stopped on Theresa. They kissed, and that was the first time Julie kissed a girl. She realised why boys liked kissing girls, as Theresa smelled nice and her lip balm tasted minty and pleasant.

Draco went next, and he ended up kissing Blaise. The two made disgusted noises at first, but Julie was convinced that they enjoyed kissing each other. A part of her was still hoping that the bottle would've pointed at her. It was the part of her that she wanted to shut up, but it kept coming back to her as an annoying little voice in her head. 

After several more rounds, the game finished and everyone started to go back to their rooms. She saw Blaise whisper something to Draco, and then gradually everyone left the room, leaving Julianne and Draco alone. Something was up. 

"So," Julianne started. "That was fun"

"Yeah, I guess." Draco agreed half heartedly. "But I was hoping I would get to kiss you"

"Same for you, actually," said Julianne, interpreting the statement wrong. "If I had to choose who to kiss out of the group, it would have to be you". 

Draco looked at her and sighed, coming closer. 

"That's not what I meant" he said. 

And then he took her face gently in his hands. Julianne froze. He leaned down, lightly brushing his lips off of her's. 

"No, Julie." He whispered. "I really really wanted to kiss you anyway. And it's so hard when I don't get what I want" 

"Such typical Draco" thought Julianne. She wasn't processing what was happened fully. Before she knew it, he was kissing her. 

Julianne pulled away almost immediately. She stepped back from him. He looked upset, a bit shocked. He wasn't expecting that type of reaction from her.

"I - I can't" she said quietly. It reminded her of Nikolai, a lot. Even though she just kissed several people before then, this wasn't the same. Now they were in a room, completely alone, and Julianne felt vulnerable. It's not that she was scared of Draco, it's not that she didn't trust him. It just brought the memories back, in a very scary way. 

They stood apart, looking at each other, and Julianne realised that she was silently crying. She wiped her tears hastily, as Draco approached her. 

"I'm sorry" he said softly, sincerely. "Did it, you know, remind you of him?"

Julianne nodded. She thought of just walking out of the room. Instead, she hugged Draco. She just needed to convince herself that he wouldn't hurt her. So she stood with her arms loosely around him, and his head leaning on her's. 

And they stood there quietly, neither of them daring to say a word.


	13. Answers

The incident at the Christmas party wasn't talked about for a few weeks, and Julianne found it better than way.  She didn't know what Draco was thinking, and she definitely knew that she didn't want to be in a relationship right now. She was fine alone, besides she had her friends. 

It was mid - January when she got a letter. She expected it to be a normal letter from her parents,  thanking her for the Christmas gifts and asking how she liked their's. She was wrong. 

When she opened it, at the breakfast table, she immediately recognised her father's handwriting. Her father never wrote, it was always her mother writing from the two of them. The letter read, 

"Dear Julianne,  

Your mother is in the hospital. She passed out a day ago and I wasn't able to wake her up. She's awake now, but very weak, and the Healers say that she has symptoms of heart failure which seemed to have stemmed from nothing. I don't know if she's going to make it, it's getting harder and harder for her to breathe and keep herself awake.

I sent a letter to your headmaster to ask for him to give you permission to leave the school.  You're going to visit your mother in St. Mungo's hospital. I don't know how long you will stay, but pack enough clothes to last you a while.

I will apparate to Hogsmeade at 7 this evening. I expect you to wait for me at the train station. 

Father"

Julianne found her hands to be shaking when she finished the letter. Her mother was on her deathbed. Her mother who was always there for her, even if it wasn't in obvious ways. 

She was shocked. She noticed her mother becoming fatigued and weak over the years, but she thought that was just from her aging. She never even assumed it might be something serious. 

Julie didn't realise she was crying. Her face was white, and she was staring at the letter intently. 

"Julie, is everything okay?" Asked Pansy. She didn't reply. Instead, she ran out of the hall, telling Pansy not to follow her. 

She couldn't believe her mother could die. She wouldn't. There's no way she would. So she wiped away her tears and walked down to the dungeons, only to be caught by a hand on her shoulder. It was Draco.  

"I don't want to talk right now" she said immediately. 

"Are you alright?" Asked Draco.

"Yes. Fine. Wonderful." She snapped. 

"If I needed someone to be rude to me I would've went to Potter" said Draco in a snarky tone. Julianne just ripped his hand off her shoulder and walked forward, not daring to turn back.

Draco considered running after her but he decided against it. She did say she didn't want to talk. 

Julianne started packing. She realised that taking her trunk with her wouldn't be a good option. So she found a handbag and put an extension charm on it. It took her several tried but she got it right eventually. She packed angrily, throwing all the close she'd need in messy heaps. She was fully ready by 12, meaning she had seven hours to go. She threw herself on the bed.

Julianne was incredibly restless, and she kept getting up and walking around the room and then throwing herself on the bed again. After a few minutes of torture, she decided to go on a walk.

She went outside into the snow and let herself fall into it. She could feel the cold snow on her face, wet and unpleasant. She stared up at the sky. It was as white as the snow she was lying in. 

She didn't know how long she was there for, just lying in the snow. Her mind was blank, and she couldn't even force herself to think about what might happen. It was just her and the snow and the sky, and she wished it would remain like that forever. 

* * *

She was at the school gate at twenty to seven. Dumbledore appeared soon, opening the gate for her and letting her through. He said something to her but she didn't hear it. She remained quiet as she walked out. 

She was at the train station a bit before seven. Her father was there early too. Her father was a loud person, in every manner possible. But now he was silent. He just nodded at her when he saw her, and she did the same in reply.

They apparated to the hospital. Julianne hated hospitals. The smell, the nurses who always did their best to be patient and pleasant, the medicine, the needles, the injured patients who seemed to think they were the only ones there who needed help. She hated all of it.

Her father led her up several flights of stairs and corridors. Her mother had a private room and Julianne was very grateful for that. She hated the thought of anyone else seeing her right now. 

They entered the room. Helen Ashworth looked nothing like herself. Julianne thought she looked dead, and then realised that that might be true. It wasn't, as she saw her open her eyes and weakly sit up. She skin was pale and sullen, her eyes were surrounded by dark circles. She looked more tired than ever.

Her father took her mother's hand as she whispered something in his ear. Julianne didn't come closer. Her father left the room and she stared at her mother. Helen gestured for Julie to come forward and she slowly did. She stood beside her bed. 

"Julianne," whispered the sickly woman softly. "I'm sorry" 

Julianne had no idea what she would be sorry for. She didn't question it. She just looked at her quietly.

"Julie, I need to tell you something" she continued. Julianne felt as if it was hard for her mother to talk. Her voice seemed breathless. 

"I didn't get here because of a heart failure." She said. "I'm here because of, well, your father." 

Julianne felt as if she needed to be shocked at this, but she just wasn't. 

"I'm going to die. And I don't know what's going to happen to your father. He's dangerous and you need to stay safe. I know you'll still have to come home for the summer holidays. You'll need to make sure you listen to him, you don't argue with him. Do everything he asks you to. Lie to him if you need to, but carefully."

"What did he do?" Julianne finally got out. Helen sighed. 

"Your father has a difficult... history. When he was young, a few months after we got married, he was sent to Azkaban for a murder. I still don't know if he did it. He said he was falsely accused."

"He - he killed someone?" 

"A young girl. There were plenty of suspects, but the way she died was a perfect example of a killing curse. And he was the only wizard around. He was arrested almost immediately. I was pregnant with you at the time.

"He was released two years later as new evidence appeared. A wand was found and traced back to the killing site. It wasn't his wand, and there was no proof he had ever even touched it. However, the curse was traced back to it. Another wizard was arrested, and they proved that he shot the curse from a window across the street. " 

"So... he didn't kill her?" Asked Julianne. Helen bit her lip. 

"I don't know." They stayed silent for a bit, and Helen got ready to talk again.

"He was a different person when he came out of Azkaban. For the first few months he barely spoke and I rarely saw him. 

"I started seeing him more soon though. But he was... angry. Impossibly angry. He got angry at the smallest things possible, he yelled at me and he yelled at you. I tried telling people, but it was brushed off as he had a hard time. I dealt with it, but then it got worse. 

"He started being physically abusive, hitting me, and sometimes attempting to hit you, even though you were barely four. He stopped as people saw marks on my face, and whispers started. 

"But he had to take out his anger somehow, so he used the Cruciatus Curse." 

Julianne gasped at this. "On you?" Helen nodded.

"I don't know how he hid it from the magic regulators. But he did it more and more each week. It became an everyday thing. He never stopped until recently when he noticed that I've been getting much weaker. 

"But earlier today I decided to ask him about the murder. I was stupid to do it. I asked if he was guilty, and he just flipped out on me and tortured me again and again and again." 

Helen was crying. And Julianne was crying. She was holding her mother's hand tightly. 

"Why didn't the Healers notice any side effects?"Asked Julianne quietly. 

"Since the curse has been used to often, I've grown a weird sort of immunity. So in relation to me, the normal side effects didn't really apply."

The two stayed silent. For the first time, Julianne was terrified for her life. She realised that her mother must've protected her. 

"Julie.." started Helen as she choked down a sob. "Don't let him hurt you. I was too weak to run, but I know you're not." 

"I love you, mom" she cried. She leaned down and hugged her mother, crying uncontrollably. Her father came in then, and Julianne didn't know how her mother could even stand to have him in the room.

"I love you too Julie" said Helen softly. She was tired, too tired. Her eyes shut as her breath became lighter. She fell asleep for the last time.


	14. Starting the Search for the Truth

The next day was a blur. Julianne's mind was a mess and she was terrified, so she went back to school without even waiting for the funeral. She was still in denial, she didn't even open the letter she found under her mother's pillow with her name on it. 

She didn't tell anyone about her mother's death. Her disappearance for the day was easily excused with a stomach poisoning, so her friends weren't worried about her much. Julianne knew that what she was doing wasn't right, that she needed support after all of the terrible things her mother had told her before she passed away. But she didn't want any. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to think up a dream world where everything was perfect and stay in it forever. 

But Julianne gave herself more credit than she deserved. She couldn't be alone right now and she needed some comfort. She figured this out one night three days later when she couldn't fall asleep and kept crying. She thought about waking Pansy up, but she felt as if she wouldn't be able to help her as she needed. 

So she did something impulsive and irrational. She followed her heart,  and it led her up the stairs to the boys' dormitories and up to Draco's room. Things were still unresolved between them, but she couldn't even think of that right now. She just wanted him to hug her tightly. 

She knew which room was Draco's from the Christmas party and she found it with ease. The door wasn't locked, so she was able to get in quietly and walk over to his bed. He was peacefully asleep, and Julianne felt a bit guilty about waking him up at first,  but that didn't stop her. 

"Draco" she whispered, shaking his shoulder. "Draco, wake up" 

He woke up with a jolt, shocked to see her there. And then he saw how shaky she was,  with a tear stained face and red puffy eyes. 

"I need to talk to you" she whispered. She was going to offer to go downstairs, but Draco gestured for her to get onto his bed. He rubbed his eyes, cast a "Muffliato" charm and pulled the curtain back. 

"What's wrong?" he asked sleepily. 

And she told him everything, crying without a pause. She didn't even know if he fully understood her, but hoped thst he'd get the main gist of it. 

Draco was shocked, and he was terribly worried about Julianne. He sat up properly, leaning against the board of the bed, and let her climb onto his lap. He hugged her and pulled her as close to himself as he could. She was crying so much that it made him want to cry too.

"He tortured her every day Draco, every day" she sobbed. "And she protected me and I never even knew." 

Draco felt horrible because he didn't know what to say. He wanted to be supportive, but he just didn't know how.  So he just listened to her and held her. 

"And I'm scared" she whispered. "He's going to hurt me too" 

"You don't have to go back to him" said Draco. 

"But I do. I have nowhere to live." 

"You'll live with me" 

Julianne shook her head. 

"I can't. He'll just find someone else to hurt" 

"Well let him" said Draco a bit angrily. Julianne flinched.  

"No, no I can't" she said with a whimper as she broke down again. Draco hugged her again, leaning his head down on her's. It took her several minutes to calm down and stop crying, and when she did Draco looked at her. 

"You should go to bed now" he said, to which she shook her head violently.  

"No, no, I don't want to be alone, I want to stay here." Julianne said. 

"Then stay here." Said Draco. "But you need to get some sleep."

She crawled off his lap and onto the space beside him, snuggling under the duvet. He lay down too, wrapping his arms a bit awkwardly around her. Julianne fell asleep sooner than he expected, she must have been drained from all of the crying. 

He pressed a small kiss to the top of her head and adjusted his arms around her so he was more comfortable. Draco was the one who couldn't fall asleep now. He wondered why Julianne came to him when she had a dormitory full of friends who would probably have found a way to be there for her better than he did. And he wondered about what was going to happen to her. Was she going to tell someone about what her mother had told her? Was she going to try to confront her father? Was she going to just live with it? 

Whatever she did, Draco felt a feeling of obligation to protect her. 

*  *  * 

Julianne was gone when Draco woke up the next morning. He looked around for a note but she didn't leave anything of the sort. He didn't find her down in the common room, or at breakfast in the Great Hall. 

In fact, Julie didn't show up for the first few classes either. Her friends didn't know about her whereabouts, and she was definitely nowhere near the dungeons. At lunch, Draco went looking for her, only to find her in the library.  

She looked terrible, barely awake. Her hands were shaky, but her eyes were focused. She wasn't the girl who came to him because she felt too alone anymore. She was different, she had her eyes set on a goal and he knew she'd do anything she needed. She had a stack of newspapers in front of her, old copies of the 'Daily Prophet', and she was looking through each one, her eyes searching the pages.  

Julianne was looking through all of the newspapers for the years 1979 and 1980. She was looking for a particular incident, the murder of a young girl.  

Her mother said that she was pregnant with her when her father was sent to Azkaban, which meant that she was pregnant with her at the time of the murder. Julianne's birthday was May 21st, 1980. So the murder had to have happened sometime in the nine months before that.

"What are you doing?" She heard Draco's voice.  She looked up to see him standing near her table. 

"I'm working." She said. "Dumbledore let me take the next week off from classes" 

"Did you tell him about your father?" 

"No. I just said I've got too much on my mind to focus in class" 

Draco nodded. Julianne went back to the paper. She was reading an article, a picture of a girl beside it.  

"Found something? " Asked Draco. She nodded and pushed the paper towards him. The article was dated 1st of February 1980.

"Janice Arnold, 16, was found dead last night on Lockyer Street, Plymouth. The area is completely inhabited by Muggles with no wizard settlements nearby. However, the girl looked to be hit with a killing curse."

"The Ashworth estate is in Cremyll, in the Mount Edgcumbe Forests" said Julianne. "Plymouth is a bit away, across the water and northeast from the estate. In Muggle measures it might be pretty far, but with Apparation and Floo Networks, I wouldn't be surprised to see my father at the site of the murder." 

Draco looked at the picture of the girl in the paper. She had freckles and brown hair, and a subtle smile. She was only sixteen, and her young age only really hit him when he saw the picture.

"Why are you so sure that he murdered her?" Asked Draco.  "You said that they put another person in Azkaban for it."

"I just... have a feeling" replied Julianne as she went back to the article. 

"The prime suspect is Marcus Ashworth, who has been brought in for questioning." 

"Why would he kill her?" Asked Draco. "Some Muggle attack?" 

"I don't know" said Julianne. "I don't know what he was like before Azkaban. But Azkaban didn't make him a bad person, it just brought out what was already there. I don't doubt that he was capable of it" 

"What's the deal with him anyway? With the whole Gryffindor thing?" 

"I don't know, Draco!" Cried Julianne in exasperation. Madam Pince, the librarian, looked over at her and made a shushing gesture. 

"I don't know anything at all. And I need to figure it out." Said Julianne in an aggressive whisper. "So either help me or just leave me alone" 

"I'll help you for the rest of lunch time. And then I'll come back after classes"

"Okay" 

"What do you want me to do?"

"See if you can get your hands on any student records, yearbooks, anything. My father was in school from 1969 to 1976. Maybe we can find some of his friends and ask them about him" 

Draco didn't waste time and went straight to Madam Pince, telling her that he needed the yearbooks to revise some family history, which wasn't entirely a lie, just it wasn't his family history. He got his hands on a few yearbooks, and a book of achievements from the years. The librarian told him that if he wanted more, he'd have to consult the headmaster.

*  *  *

It took Draco a lot of effort to pull Julianne out of the library at dinnertime. She made a copy of the newspaper article about Janice Arnold's murder and another one of the man who was put in Azkaban in place of her father two years later. His name was Sylvester Lowell, and he was in his seventh year of Hogwarts.

Julie was very quiet during dinner, and decided to tell her friends about her mother's death after. They all had different reactions. Lyndsey was the most supportive, not really caring that Julianne didn't tell them earlier. Theresa found it questionable that she had been spending more time with Draco than them, but she didn't talk about it much.

Pansy was pretty insensitive to the whole thing. She didn't know why Julianne couldn't have just told them and Julianne got the impression that she was a little jealous of the time she had been spending with Draco. However, after a few minutes of silent treatment she realised how selfish she was and apologised. 

Julianne didn't sleep that night. She didn't go to Draco this time, instead she went for a walk around the grounds. It was freezing outside especially at night, and that only just made her more awake. She sat by the Black Lake, looking up at the stars, imagining that her mother was now one of them.


	15. Jinx

Life went on as usual for everyone around Julianne, but she seemed to be stuck in this hole of unanswered questions and unresolved feelings that she couldn't get out of. 

She was back to class now, though her grades have been steadily dropping. She barely focused at all, instead she sat in the library for days on end. 

One day she accidentally dropped her bag, making all of the contents spill out. She found an envelope with her name on it, the one she found under her mother's pillow. She had completely forgotten about it, so she opened it and started reading.  

_"Dear Julianne,_

_I hope that you know that I'm very proud of you and of the person you've become. You're intelligent, you're caring and you're strong, and I need you to be even stronger now that I'm gone. Take care of yourself, and don't spend too much time grieving._

_I know that you're going to do well in life, and I hate that I won't be there to see it. I know that it's going to be hard at home with your father, but stay strong and take care of yourself, and don't let anyone hurt you._

_I know that you have questions that you want answered, so I hope I can answer a few of them for you. I would have already told you about the murder, as I swore to myself that I would tell you about it even if it was on my deathbed. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, I just wanted to protect you._

_Your father has always been passionate about his heritage and his Hogwarts house, Gryffindor. You see, he's a direct descendant of Godric Gryffindor, which means you are too.  He's proud of that, and it's something he considers to be very prestigious. That's why he was always so harsh on you for being a Slytherin, as you broke his family tradition. Before you,  everyone in the family was a Gryffindor,  so he expected you to be too. He's wrong about that, because you're your own person and while tradition is important, it doesn't dictate your life._

_Julianne, you're very special from a historical point of view too. Your father wasn't the only one with such a famous bloodline. Your father doesn't know this, but I'm a descendant of Salazar Slytherin. Which means you are the only person in history to have the blood of both of those wizards flowing in you. I know this might come as a shock, but you shouldn't let it affect your life._

_I know this isn't much, but I'm not sure what other questions you might have. Julianne, just please get on with your life. I know you like looking for answers, but there are times when you just need to stop._

_I love you Julie, and I will always be proud of you. I truly believe that there's nothing that you can't achieve if you really want it. Take care of yourself._

_Love,  
Your mother" _

Julianne realised that she was crying when a tear dropped down on the parchment and smudged the ink. She was a direct descendant of both Slytherin and Gryffindor, and as interesting as that sounded, she didn't care at all. All she cared about was her mother, who stood meekly and accepted torture in order to protect her, who kept secrets and led a horrible life for years. And now she was gone, and Julianne didn't get the chance to thank her. She blamed herself for not saying more on the night that her mother died, for not thanking her and not telling her that she was amazing and brave. She hated herself for it.  

The second Tri-Wizard task came soon. The champions were meant to retrieve something from under the Black Lake. Lyndsey pulled her out to see it, even though Julianne protested. 

"You've been inside for weeks now, it's not healthy. I know you've been having a tough time but you should go outside with us and just allow yourself to relax." She had told her.  

Julianne couldn't see why people were so excited to watch the task, since unlike last time, there wasn't much to see. It was just waiting around for the champions to resurface. 

"I'm really hoping that Potter drowns" she heard Draco, who was two seats away from her, say. 

The task ended soon enough, and Julianne left feeling pretty unimpressed. Since it's such a big competition, they could have at least organised screens so the viewers could see what was going on underwater. 

She walked up to the castle alone, as something got her eye. It was a small black kitten, meowing and soaked to the core. It was sitting under a tree with wide branches, looking around fearfully. It was alone, probably lost.  

She walked towards it and kneeled down before it, petting it gently. It had green eyes and was pure black apart from its white tip of the tails and white paws, which really looked like socks. 

"Hey there little guy" she said softly. "Are you all alone?" She half expected the kitten to reply, realising how dumb that must've been a moment later. 

"I'm going to take care of you" she said, picking up wet kitten and putting it on her lap. She muttered a drying spell, and the kitten instantly became fluffier. 

It looked at her with big eyes and she got up with it, wrapping it in her cloak. 

*  *  * 

"What have you got there?" Asked Draco. Julie was sitting on the sofa, the kitten in her lap. It was playing with her scarf, which she lifted up and down. 

"I found him outside" said Julianne. "He looked scared and cold so I brought him in" 

Draco sat beside her and reached his hand out to the kitten. It paused, walked closer and touched it's nose of his hand, smelling it. Then it came even closer and wrapped it's paws around it, nibbling Draco's hand playfully.  

"He likes you" Julianne said with a laugh.

"He hardly likes me." Said Draco. "He's trying to eat me!" 

He only said that half jokingly.

"Oh don't be such a drama queen" Julianne laughed.  It's the first time he saw her laugh so genuinely in a while. 

"Are you going to keep him?" He asked.  

"Yeah, I think I am"

"He needs a name then" 

Julianne had already thought that, but she had no idea for one. 

"I suppose he does" she said. "But I don't know what to name him"

"Name him --- aaagh!" The kitten started playing with Draco's hand again, scratching it and biting his fingers.

"Merlin, he's worse than someone casting a finger removing jinx" said Draco. 

"That's it!" Exclaimed Julianne. "Jinx!" 

"Sure" agreed Draco. "It suits him" 

* * * 

Julianne was getting ready to sleep with Jinx snoring lightly at the foot of her bed. Only then she remembered her mother's letter. She didn't know how she managed to forget about it for the day, but she was so preoccupied with Jinx that she didn't have time to think. She ran around the castle trying to find someone with with a cat who could lend her some cat food, and it was a while before she found Hermione, who gave her a good bit to last a while. 

Julianne didn't understand while Hermione was so nice to her, because if she was in Hermione's position, she'd hate herself. But then again, she never did anything mean towards her and her friends, it was just Draco. 

Julianne had to wash Jinx before letting him into her bed. That proved to be a disaster, as he obviously hated the water. Pansy helped her a good bit, but in the end both girls came out with hands full of scratches. Pansy loved the kitten, and she treated him like a baby, which was cute at first but got annoying after a bit. 

The letter came back to Julianne's mind. She didn't think that being a descendant from two Hogwarts founders was significant, it's not as if it gave her superpowers. Or did it? She knew Salazar Slytherin was a parseltongue, so could she have that ability too? 

A part of Julianne wanted desperately to get out of bed and go to the library. She'd have to do a good bit of sneaking, but she knew she'd have a hard time falling asleep without at least making the effort to look something up about the founders. They were enemies, and ironically, Julianne was a direct descendant of both. 

Julianne tried to say no to herself, but she was insatiable. So she pulled on a dressing gown and set off. 

Getting to the library was easy, she seemed to avoid Filch entirely. Getting into it was harder, but she managed to open one of the heavy wooden doors just enough to get in. 

She gathered a good few books about the founding of Hogwarts, but none of them gave a detailed enough description of anything. So she decided to look in the restricted section. She climbed over the barrier to find a series of books. There were four, and the first one was "Godric Gryffindor: The Dark Side". They all had similar titles, such as "Rowena Ravenclaw: Her Dark Secrets". However, the book for Slytherin was named simply "Salazar Slytherin". She assumed that this was because he wasn't a very popular figure among the public anyway. 

She pulled out the Gryffindor and Slytherin versions of the books, flipping through the Gryffindor one first. She found that Gryffindor wasn't said to have any descendants, but obviously that was wrong. Her mother wouldn't lie to her, and neither would her father about that. She didn't dwell too much on it, since Gryffindor could have produced a bastard child and kept it secret, to avoid a scandal. And bringing it up hundreds of years later would cause a lot of fuss. 

It made sense that the child would simply have changed their surname, or used their mother's. And Ashworth was fitting, as fire was the Gryffindor element, and ash was related to fire without being too obvious. 

She learned that Gryffindor was one of the best duellists, but that wouldn't be an inherited trait. She found out he was also said to be amazing at transfiguration, thus the Sorting Hat which has been around for centuries. It was presumed that there were times when Gryffindor used both his duelling and transfiguration skills for questionable causes. 

The Slytherin book wasn't very informative, just about parseltongue and basilisk breeding and blood superiority. It was the descendants section that caught her eye. 

She found her mother, under "Helen Gaunt". She supposed her mother changed her surname too, to avoid unnecessary attention. It was a surprise that her mother was a Gryffindor, and that her father never found out her true origins. She also wondered why the sorting hat never said anything to her, since it could see right inside her head. 

She broke out of her thoughts as she saw another name. It wasn't her own. In clear print, the name "Tom Riddle" was written on the other side of the family tree, above her mother's. 

She was related to Lord Voldemort.


	16. Draco Finds Out

Julianne didn't sleep that night. She was related to Voldemort. She realised that she had been all of her life, and it didn't affect it, but now she knew and a part of her blamed herself. She was related to a sadist and a murderer, and it didn't matter that it was presumed he was gone. Julianne felt dirty, and she desperately wanted to talk to someone about it. She was holding too many secrets. But she wouldn't dare. 

Her only comfort was little Jinx, who had woken up when she came back into her dormitory. She held him and hugged him, desperately wanting someone to hold her and hug her. She thought of going to Draco again, but resisted. 

The morning time was even more difficult. She avoided her friends, again, and barely paid attention in any of her classes. McGonagall even had to slam a book on her desk for her to look up and answer the question she was asked. 

Everything seemed to be destroying her. Her dead mother, her cruel father, her ancestory and relatives. Her life went from being fairly normal to being a wreck. She wanted everything to stop, she wanted to lie down and close her eyes and just forget about everything in the world. 

At lunch that day her friends approached her. 

"Are you okay?" Asked Lyndsey gently. Julianne looked at her. She was the most understanding of her friends. She sometimes thought Lyndsey was a bit annoying, too bubbly, too excited. But now Julie looked at her and saw a caring, supportive person. 

Pansy, on the other hand, was pretty judgy. She stood with her arms crosses. 

"You've been avoiding us. Again" Pansy said, stressing the last word. "That's all you've been doing lately, with no explanation"

"Don't be so harsh" interjected Theresa, looking straight at Pansy. "Julianne's having a hard time" 

Julianne nodded. 

"I'll be fine" she said. "And I'm sorry I'm avoiding you. I just need time to be alone" 

"Don't forget that we're here for you" said Lyndsey, looking at Julie and then turning her head at Pansy and staring her down until she nodded. Lyndsey laid a hand down on Julianne's, before the three girls sat down. 

*  *  * 

Theresa approached Julianne individually after lunch. 

"Listen." She said. "About Pansy. She doesn't mean to be so harsh.. she's just... jealous"

"Jealous?" Asked Julianne. "Of what?" 

"You've been spending a lot of time with Malfoy. And she still likes him. She's been bitter about it since the Yule Ball."

"But we're just friends!" Exclaimed Julianne. To be honest, Julianne wasn't sure if that was entirely true. He had kissed her, held her, and they've slept in the same bed twice.  Those weren't usual friendly acts. But they've never talked about their feelings, so for now 'friends' was the only label they had. 

"She doesn't think so" replied Theresa calmly. "So just, I know that she's being insensitive, but don't be too angry with her" 

*  *  * 

The conversation with Theresa caused Julianne to spend a while thinking about her and Draco. Did she like him? She didn't know. She liked being with him, talking to him, she liked his snarky jokes and comments, she even seemed to like the way he felt as if he was a bit better than everyone else, maybe because she sometimes had that feeling deep inside of her too, even though she tried to shut it out. 

He was supportive, he was kind (to those who he wanted to be kind to), he was caring and Julianne felt like he understood her well. Those were all good qualities for a friend, and for a boyfriend too. 

She remembered their Christmas kiss, which she had pulled away from. He wouldn't have kissed her unless he liked her. And Blaise seemed to be constantly hinting that Draco had a crush on her. But she didn't know what she would do if he did. Everything was too complicated for her. 

*  *  * 

It didn't become easier the next day, when Draco spontaneously decided to sit beside her at breakfast. As soon as he sat down she had an urge to tell him everything she found out over the last couple of days. 

"How're you holding up?" Asked Draco as he reached for some orange juice. He poured a glass for both himself and Julianne. 

"I've. . Been better" replied Julie.

"Have you done any research regarding your father? Are you planning on asking Dumbledore for information?"

Julianne liked the way Draco didn't try to pity her like most people she knew. He just carried the conversation smoothly, both of them pretending that Julianne was okay. 

"Actually no" she replied. "I've been preoccupied with something else" 

Draco looked surprised, as before, Julianne was obsessed with finding out about her father.  

"With what?" He asked. Julianne hesitated. She didn't know if she should tell him, even though she really wanted to.

"I'll tell you later" she said.  "And not here". Talking about her relation to the Dark Lord in a hall full of people wasn't the best idea. 

They met up later in the library. Draco found Julianne there first, already with a stack of books before her. 

He sat down beside her and she passed him a letter.

"Read it." 

It was the letter her mother had left her. Draco felt good at the thought of Julianne giving him something personal without at a doubt. 

Julie watched Draco as he read. He put the letter down after a bit, a surprised look on his face. 

"That's... pretty cool I guess" 

"No." Snapped Julianne. "It's not." 

She passed him another page, which looked to be a copy of a book page. It was the page with Slytherin's descendants.  

"Tom Riddle" started Draco. "Isn't that..."

"Yeah. It's Voldemort" 

"You don't believe in all of that "You-Know-Who" stuff, do you?" 

"Not now that I'm related to him" said Julianne angrily. "I'm related to him!" 

"He's your... " Draco looked down at the family tree. "Great uncle?" 

"Yeah, I think so."

Draco remembered his father talking about him, just before the Quidditch cup. There were rumours that he was still alive, but Draco decided against telling Julianne about that.  She was freaked out enough over the whole thing. 

"This doesn't change anything" said Draco. "You're still you"

"It changes everything!" Exclaimed Julianne in a hushed voice to avoid Madam Pince.  "Do you think he knew about me? About my mother? Do you think he thought of "recruiting" us when he was alive?" 

"Julie, you need to calm down. You were always related to him but it never affected your life before." Said Draco. 

"But I know now" said Julie with exasperation. "And it's affecting my life now"  

"That's just because you're letting it." Said Draco stubbornly. Draco sighed. He couldn't not tell Julianne about the rumours. "But maybe you're right" 

Julianne turned her head sharply. "What do you mean?"

"This might not even be true but," Draco said quickly. "I've heard from my father that people are talking about him coming back." 

Julianne just stared at him, her face expressionless. Then she packed up the books and stood up, walking away from the library and walking away from her problems. Draco didn't realise that she was actually until it was too late. He tried catching up with her but he lost her quickly. 

*  *  * 

"Alive" Julianne thought. "He's still alive." 

She couldn't process it. Finding out a dark truth about herself was hard enough, but finding out that that dark truth was still very real and posed a threat was overwhelming. 

She was lying down by the Black Lake again, Jinx beside her. He had grown very attached to Julianne, following her around everywhere. Yesterday she even had to hide him in her schoolbag as he had followed her to class and wouldn't leave. 

Julianne picked up her wand, suddenly remembering that it was her mother's. It was given to her when she turned eleven, along with a Hogwarts acceptance letter. Julianne didn't want "her mum's old wand", she wanted to choose her own one, or let the wand choose her. But Helen Ashworth insisted and told Julianne that it's "a very special and powerful wand" 

"It's made of snakewood with a Basilisk horn core" her mother had whispered in Julianne's ear. "It's great for healing and it can be very strong when you need it to be" 

Snakewood and Basilisk Horn, there wasn't a more Slytherin wand made. Julianne didn't doubt that it once belonged to Salazar himself. It was long, pretty thin, and impossible to break. She remembered dropping it, stepping on it, almost snapping it, but it never even cracked.  

It was relatively plain, with a few worn out engravings on the handle.  It was a good wand, and Julianne was used to it after using it for the past few years, but she wondered if there was anything special about it other than its age and original owner. 

She played around with the wand, along with Jinx who kept trying to catch it, and went back to the castle before it got too dark.  

She found Draco sitting in the common room.

She thought she'd be able to sneak past him, but he saw her almost immediately.  

"You know, running away from your problems isn't the best way to deal with them" he said. 

Julianne shrugged. "There's not much else to do." 

Draco looked at her for a long time. She looked different than how she was two and a half months ago. She wasn't as relaxed, and you could even see that in her posture and facial expression. She was tired, and stopping paying much attention to her appearance.  Draco couldn't remember the last time he saw her lipstick, and that used to be something that she wouldn't leave her dormitory without before. She was tired but focused, scared, confused, and worse of all, Draco knew she felt alone. 

"Goodnight Malfoy" said Julianne as she headed up the stairs. It was still early, but he knew she would barely be sleeping anyway. 

"Goodnight Ashworth"


	17. Pain Harnessing

The weather has started getting significantly better when March came. There was less slush and more visible grass. Leaves started growing on trees and flowers started blooming, life in March seemed to be better in general. 

But unlike everyone else, Julianne was stuck in the library again. All she had been doing was research for the past months. She hadn't found much, and didn't really want to ask Dumbledore for information about her father, to avoid any unnecessary questions.  

But Julianne did have a different plan. She was going home for the Easter holidays,  against her better judgement. She knew it wasn't safe, she knew that her father could hurt her and there would be no one to protect her. She wanted to sneak into her father's office. 

His office was like a sacred place to him, a place no one was allowed to visit, to touch, even to clean. Julianne wasn't allowed in there, neither was her mother before her death. Even house elves weren't allowed. There must have been something secret in it, since her father didn't have a job, so it couldn't be work related. 

The family were too rich to work. Her mother had inherited a significant amount, but her father, and the Ashworth line in general have always been one of the richest families. Even if he did want to work, it would have been hard to get a decent job due to his criminal record.

Julianne was hoping to find letters, or any form of correspondence, with anyone she could talk to. She didn't know what else would be there, but she was set on a mission. 

She was successful with some research on other topics. She wanted to know if the Slytherin - Gryffindor situation entitled her to anything. She planned to talk to her father about the Gryffindor side, it was a topic she was sure he'd actually talk about. 

But for Slytherin, she knew she had a high chance of being a parseltongue. She didn't know if her mother was one, and she didn't exactly get to try it out at any points. She had half a mind to ask Potter, as he was one too, but that would be revealing too much information she wanted to stay personal. She knew about the Chamber of Secrets, and was betting that she could get in there. 

She spoke to Draco about it, and the conversation went pretty awkwardly. 

"Do you think I can open the Chamber of Secrets?" Julie asked. "There's nothing to say I'm not a parseltongue" 

"What would you do with it even if you could open it?" 

"I don't know" she said. "Go in, check it out. You could go with me" 

"So you expect me to go into the girls bathroom for something that might not even work?" Asked Draco, annoyed. 

"Fine" said Julianne grumpily. "Be a little ferret" she muttered under her nose. Draco didn't hear, or he did, but ignored her. 

*  *  * 

It was the week before the beginning of the holidays went Draco approached her. 

"Are you sure about going home?" He asked. He looked worried. 

"Yeah, I need to" said Julianne. "I've got too many questions, and I might be able to answer some."

"You might get hurt" 

"I'll get hurt, I won't die" said Julianne carelessly. "Though I'm not too sure about that either. But I need answers. And I'm going to get them." 

Draco looked at her and realised that what she just said pretty much summarised the mindset of both her Slytherin and Gryffindor side. The Gryffindor courage, although rash without much self preservation. And the Slytherin insatiable thirst for knowledge, and the ambition.  

"Just take care" said Draco. 

Julianne just nodded.

He approached her the next day too, with a book in his hands. They found a secluded spot on the Astronomy Tower as Draco told her he wanted to show her something. 

'Dark Curses and Resistance' was the title of the book. It had the "restricted" sticker on it, meaning that it came from the restricted section. 

"Did you ask for permission to get this?" Asked Julianne curiously. Draco snorted. 

"Nah." He said. "I snuck in last night" 

"Why?" 

"Because I want you to stay safe. Anyway, look" he flipped a few pages until he was in the middle of the book. It was a chapter dealing with the Cruciatus Curse. 

He started reading one of the paragraphs aloud. 

"The Cruciatus Curse cannot be resisted like the Imperius Curse. However it is possible to build a tolerance against it and actually make yourself stronger. This technique is called 'Pain Harnessing'. It has been used by several powerful wizards, and is a proven way to make your body both physically and spiritually stronger. It improves focus and magical ability. It would have huge popularity if it wasn't for one problem, it is excruciatingly painful" 

"Soooo?" Interrupted Julianne. 

"Your father tortured your mother every day, and she died as a result."

"I'm going to be there for two weeks Draco"

"And then the summer holidays. You're going to be with him for a long time. And if he tortured your mother as a coping mechanism, he's going to do it to you."

Julianne stayed silent. She knew this, but it still wasn't pleasant to hear.  

"Of course you could just not go -"

"That's not an option!" Exclaimed Julianne. 

"Well then. You might as well try the Pain Harnessing. It's meant to make it less painful every time if you do it right" 

Draco continued reading. 

"The technique isn't too difficult to understand, but more difficult to master. The main concept is transforming the pain into power, using the pain as a sort of motivator.  

The first step is focusing. You must focus on the feeling of the pain, and you need to pretend to absorb it. 

When the curse is cast, don't yell or scream or writhe. Stay still and silent. It's difficult, maybe impossible for the first times. But you need to learn to control the pain and don't let it control you. Professional wizards have had the curse cast on them when in the middle of their life, cooking, having conversations, writing, and they continued doing what they were doing. 

You need to try to overcome the curse. Do not mistake this for resisting, it's not the same. You need to accept the pain, and let it flow through your body. Every wizard develops their own personal technique, so you just need to find your own. 

Remember, only practice this in moderation, overusing the Cruciatus Curse can lead to insanity.  Good luck!" 

Julianne stared at Draco. "This is absolutely crazy" 

"If you're going to be tortured you might as well make it beneficial to yourself." 

Julianne loved Draco at that moment, simply for the fact that he wasn't trying to stop her. He wasn't trying to give her false reassurance and he didn't underestimate her strength. She was scared, and his reaction was exactly what she needed. 

She moved over to him and hugged him tightly. She seemed to be hugging him quite a bit lately, but she loved it. He was warm, and he'd always hug her back without question. He smelled nice too, he smelled like Draco. 

"Julie..." Draco started. He sounded nervous, his voice shaky. She looked up at him. 

"Can I kiss you?" He asked. Julianne thought about it for a few seconds, and then nodded.

He kissed her softly, their lips barely touching. She closed her eyes and let herself forget about everything for a few moments. She kissed back, her hands on his neck. 

Julianne pulled away first, guiltily.

"I'm sorry" she said. "I shouldn't have let you do that."

"Why?" Asked Draco. He was holding her closely. 

"Because well, I don't want a relationship right now. I have enough feelings over everything else going on, and I just need to focus." 

"Do you like me?" He asked. Julianne thought about it. 

"I don't know. I like you as a friend of course but I don't know. I need to figure everything out." 

Draco looked a tiny bit upset but pulled her in for another hug. 

"Then take your time" he said. "And I'll be here" 

"I really like kissing you though" she said after a while. She thought of Pansy, who would probably never forgive her if anything happened between her and Draco. 

"What are you implying?" Asked Draco.  

"We don't have to be together to kiss." She said. 

Draco looked at her. And he leaned in for another kiss. He was perfect and Julianne realised that this was what she wanted. It made her feel better, more calm and more loved. She could just keep kissing him forever. 

"So what do you want to do now?" Asked Draco as they pulled apart. 

"I want to keep kissing you. You're amazing. But I don't want anything more than that." 

Draco nodded. He didn't know if he wanted that because he had slowly come to realise that he definitely had feelings for Julianne. He wanted to be with her, but if she wasn't ready for that, then what could he do? 

"Soo no labels, yeah?" Asked Julianne. "And if you start seeing someone else then just tell me, I won't mind" 

But Draco wanted her to mind. He wanted her to care about him enough to want him all for herself. Like he did with her, and maybe it wasn't right but he wanted it and couldn't deny it. 

"Yeah.. no labels" he muttered. 

Julianne gave Draco one last hug before she picked up the book he got and went off to her dormitory. She was feeling better, and you could even see it in the bounce that appeared in her walk.  


	18. On The Express

The week passed quickly, and Julianne found herself sitting in a compartment on the Express on her own. Pansy was the only one of her friends going home, and she didn't want to deal with her right now. She just turned whiny and bratty around Julianne. And she had no idea where Draco was. 

Things have been.. weird with Draco lately. She had barely been talking to him, and she really wanted to, but she refused to approach him first. It was too awkward. But it seemed that he didn't approach her for the same reason. 

Whether it was a coincidence or magic, Julianne heard the compartment door opening, and an all too well known face to her peeked in. 

"There you are" said Draco. "I've been trying to find you for ages" he let himself in, and sat down beside her.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Asked Julianne impatiently. Draco looked a bit shocked. 

"You've been avoiding me too. Besides, I didn't know what to say to you"

"You don't need to talk to me" said Julianne a bit childishly. "You just need to kiss me!" 

And Draco did. He was a bit annoyed with himself, because he knew that this wasn't helping him sort out his own feelings. But Julianne was impossible not to kiss, especially when she was staring at him with her deep blue eyes. 

Julianne loved the way Draco kissed. It was unexpectedly gentle and undemanding, something you wouldn't assume by his exterior. His lips were always soft and he tasted like mint. His hands cupped her face lightly, as if she was fragile. 

They broke apart when they heard a knock on the door. It was the lady with the sweet cart. 

"A chocolate frog and a pumpkin pasty" he asked in a demanding voice. Julianne sensed he was a bit annoyed, and taking it out on the cart lady. He had that tendency. 

He handed her the chocolate frog and the cart lady walked away, muttering something about "entitled youths" 

"Thanks" said Julianne. "Didn't place you as a pumpkin pasties kinda guy though" 

"They're heaven in... Well a pasty" 

Julianne nodded, a frog leg in her mouth. She was full of thought.

"Who'd you get?" Asked Draco, referring to the Chocolate Frog card.

"Dumbledore" answered Julie quickly."But you know what's a bit weird? That you know a lot about me and I know barely anything about you" 

"I don't know that much abo--" started Draco but Julianne cut him off. 

"You know practically my entire family history, and you know my favourite treats" 

"And I know that you have a tendency to interrupt people mid - sentence" muttered Draco. 

"Sorry" said Julianne off handedly, "but the point still stands, tell me something about you too"

"Like what?" Asked Draco. 

"Tell me something about your family" 

"You know everything there is to know about my family" he said in an annoyed tone. "Everyone does. At least they think they do" 

"Well, I know that you're pureblood, your family are Slytherins and your father might or might not be a death eater"

"He is" said Draco sadly. 

"Still better than mine" said Julianne with a sarcastic laugh. "He didn't torture your mother to her death" 

Draco didn't know how Julianne could be so insensitive about her own family problems sometimes. She's been like that a lot lately, and he figured it was a coping mechanism.

"We're all named after stars" said Draco suddenly. "My mother's side anyway"

"That's pretty interesting" said Julianne. "Stars tend to have cool names" 

"I guess" 

They stayed silent for a bit after that. Draco wasn't willing to tell Julianne about himself without being asked. 

"Why'd you have such an obsession with Potter?" She asked suddenly.  

Draco's face turned disgusted. "I don't have an obsession with him. I despise every bit of ---" 

"You have an obsession with hating him" 

"Fine" said Draco. "I just didn't expect him to be so damn popular. Everyone loves him, he's some kind of hero even though he never even done anything. "

"Did you expect yourself to be that popular?"

Draco nodded. "But instead everyone just hates me because Potter hates me. It's been like that ever since he rejected my handshake in first year"

Julianne processed how dramatic that sounded. She thought Draco was being a bit of a baby, but to some degree, she understood what he was saying. He was loved, spoilt, treated like a little prince for eleven years. He was taught that his family was the best and that they were the ones that should be in power. And then he comes to Hogwarts, and this boy who thinks he's a complete nobody gets all of the attention, undeserved attention. And Draco is forced into the shadows.

"Potter didn't ask for any attention though, and you know that." Said Julianne. Draco groaned in reply. Julianne felt that she needed to change the topic. 

"What's your favourite colour?" She asked. 

"Green and silver" he replied immediately. 

"You really like trying to impress people don't you? Even with your favourite colours. Are they even your favourite colours?" 

"Why does it matter to you so much?" Draco let out with a slight snarl. 

"Because I want to know you. Because you're the best friend I've ever had, and I want to know my best friend's real favourite colour." 

"It's dark red" Draco said grumpily. "Not burgundy like the Gryffindor crest though. Just dark red, like blood red" 

Draco was even picky with the colours he liked. She realised how everyone else must see him, uptight, mean, entitled. It made sense, because that's how he acted a lot of the time. But it didn't bother her. He was, well, Draco, and Draco was the kind of person she loved being friends with. 

"What's your's? Favourite colour I mean" 

"Purple. But I like pink too. But only if it's a nice pink and not a piggy pink" 

The two stayed silent for a good bit of time. The train ride seemed to be longer than Julianne remembered it to be, but part of her wanted to stay on the train forever.  

"Are you scared?" Asked Draco after a while. "Of your father?"

"Why would I be?" 

"Well there's a chance he's a murderer and also he's responsible for your mother's death. And he's probably going to torture you and you can't really fight back" 

"Exactly" said Julianne. Draco looked at her in confusion. "He's a murderer and he tortures people to cope. He's pathetic. And I don't care if he hurts me. I know what I need and I know what I want and I have a plan thought out, so pain won't be stronger than my desire to get that" 

Part of Draco admired Julianne. She was brave and ambitious, a combination that made her unstoppable. But part of him thought she was completely insane. You couldn't blame her, after the stress she went through during the last few months, but her loss of youth and innocence made her a completely new person. She was fourteen, still a child, and she was fearless, at least she made herself out to be. 

In reality, Julianne was far from fearless. She was terrified. She didn't dare tell Draco though, because she didn't want him to know that side of her. 

"You know, you can always stay over at my place if things get bad" said Draco. "I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind" 

"Thank you, but I'll survive" said Julianne. "It's only two weeks, after all. And I have a lot to do."

The train arrived soon, and Julianne and Draco exited onto the platform. Draco looked for his parents, but Julianne was sure that her father wouldn't arrive. She wasn't sure how to get home, but she has a bit of Floo powder with her, so finding a fireplace would have been easy enough. 

"Is your father meeting you here?" Asked Draco. Julianne shook her head. 

"I doubt it. It was always my mother who came to meet me. I've got to find my own way home." 

Draco spotted his parents, they were coming over to him. They stood out from the main crowd, with their prestige robes and their posh facial features.  

Julianne assumed that their marriage was arranged, but they sure looked great together. Both tall and slender, both good looking. They looked at Draco with pride on their faces, and Julianne felt a pang of jealousy. She wanted what he had, even if what he had wasn't much.

Draco hugged both of his parents and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. Julianne stood at the side awkwardly.

"Ashworth, right?" Said Lucius Malfoy. Julianne didn't even think that he noticed her, but apparently, he did. 

"Yeah, it's Julianne" she said. "It's a pleasure to see you again, sir." She shook his hand and noticed that he wasn't disgusted by her presence, at all. This was quite uncharacteristic of Lucius Malfoy, as he was as judgemental as he was rich. And she knew how much the Malfoys hated her father.

"Hello Julianne." Said Narcissa Malfoy, breaking off her conversation with Draco. "I've heard what happened, and we're terribly sorry for your loss" 

Julianne didn't expect them to know about her mother's death. She figured Draco told them, and hoped he didn't mention anything else. 

"Thank you " said Julianne awkwardly. She didn't know what else she could say. 

"You can come over by the Manor at any time," continued Narcissa. "You know, if you feel a bit lonely"

"Thank you for the offer." Said Julianne politely. "I'll consider it. But I've got to get going now, my father's waiting for me at home. I'll see you all in two weeks, I hope. Enjoy your easter, Draco"  

Julianne walked off, a bit too fast. She was starting to become worried and panicky. She was going to see her father, and all she wanted was to go home with the Malfoys and talk to Draco for days on end. 

"She's pretty" said Narcissa Malfoy to Draco. "Do you like her?" 

"Uhmm, as a friend, I guess" 

Lucius and Narcissa exchanged knowing looks, and the family headed home.


	19. At Home

*This chapter has some disturbing descriptions, so if you're not comfortable with that then just skip a few paragraphs, it won't effect your understanding of the plot too much* 

 

The house was different, Julianne could feel it. The Ashworth estate had always lacked the homey feel that most houses had, due to its large size. Julianne still didn't know it well, she only knew the East Wing. 

But it was different. It was colder, sadder, and it felt abandoned. She just wanted to get out of it as fast as she could. The next two weeks were sure going to be long. 

An alarm must have gone off upon Julianne's arrival, as her father went down to meet her. They nodded at each other, and Julianne went up to her room. 

It was just as she had left it. She loved her room, and she wished she could redecorate her dormitory to look just like it. It was one of the brightest rooms in the house due to the large window which stretched from the ceiling to the floor. The room was on the third story, pretty high up, so the view was wonderful. She could see the forest, and she could see the sun rising up from behind it in the mornings. The trees cast large shadows on the ground, creating both a beautiful and intimidating atmosphere. 

She had lots of bookshelves, a walk in wardrobe and a huge four poster bed. It was enclosed by purple satin curtains, which made it look like the bed of a princess. It was luxurious, and it reminded her of how much money the family had. It reminded her that it would all be her's when her father died. 

Julianne wanted to spend it instead of saving surreal amount for the next generations. She wanted to do something good, or build something great. She didn't want it to turn out to be a waste. 

She fell asleep early, and her sleep was light and dreamless...

* * *

Julianne woke up in a good mood the next morning. She was determined, she knew exactly what she was going to do, and she had a good feeling about everything.

She made her way to breakfast to find Marcus already at the table. He was reading the newspaper, and didn't even look up at her as she sat down.

Their house elf, Zeemy, apparated with a pop and a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. Julianne had a few bites, before looking at her father. 

"Father," she started, getting his attention. "May I ask you something?" 

He looked at her blankly. 

"You may."He said impatiently. "If it's worthy of my time" 

Julianne knew that what she was going to ask would be deemed "worthy of his time" 

"Can you tell me about our heritage? Mother told me that you and I are descendants of Godric Gryffindor, but I haven't been able to find much information about it in books" 

This perked Marcus's interest. Julianne had never asked him about something that he cared about before, on the contrary, she seemed to always lead the conversation to a topic he disapproved of. 

"Well, looks like you've finally come to your sense. What would you like to know?" 

"Anything. Everything. I assume Ashworth comes from the Gryffindor symbolism of fire?" 

"Yes, you're right" said Marcus. "The only reason we don't go by the Gryffindor surname is because Godric's child was born out of wedlock. And having an illegitimate child wasn't exactly looked up to back then"

Julianne nodded. It was just as she assumed. She was partially grateful for the change of surname. It wouldn't have been fun being a Slytherin with the surname "Gryffindor"

"Is there anything that being a Gryffindor heir gives you?"Asked Julianne. For once, she wasn't full fo hatred for her father, even after the horrible things she knew. She was just having a conversation with him and it gave her an odd feeling. "Apart from the pride, of course. I've read that Slytherin's heirs most likely have the parseltongue ability, and some Hufflepuffs have proven to be magically in touch with nature." 

"Well, I haven't heard of any powers" started her father. Julianne listened intently. "But Gryffindor was famous for being exceptionally skilled in transfiguration. It is said he was an animagus, but it was never confirmed."

Julianne nodded slowly. To be honest, she just couldn't see why her father was so proud. Being a Gryffindor barely seemed to be anything special. 

"And of course," continued Marcus. "The sword of Gryffindor has a very high chance of appearing for us, even for you, as you might be a Slytherin but you are still part of his family" 

* * *

The first day back was okay, with no incidents, though Julianne found out only half of what she was hoping for about her heritage. She wanted to know if having the blood of two powerful enemies affected her, her personality, her ability to do magic. But there was no safe way to ask her father about that. 

On the second day back Marcus left the estate and went to town. He would leave to go to "town" often, especially when Julianne's mother was alive. She wasn't sure what he did there, Helen said that he met up with a friend, though she couldn't imagine her father having a friend. However, he was always gone for the whole day, almost til night.

This meant that Julianne had the house to herself. Her father wouldn't be back for hours, so not doing anything would be wasting a chance. 

Her father's office was on the fourth story, the top floor. It was on the west side of the East Wing, and it was a huge room for an office, bigger than Julianne's bedroom. 

The door wasn't locked, to her surprise. There seemed to be no alarming spells cast, and Julianne found it much easier to get into than she expected. She assumed that her father didn't bother locking it when he lived alone, and he probably forgot that she was here. 

The room was big and gloomy. A bookshelf stood on one side and there was a small fireplace on the other. A desk stood in the middle, near the window. It was littered with papers and books. Looking around at the sheer size of the office, Julianne realised that finding something might take her a while. 

She started with the bookcases. A section was dedicated to books about the law, specifically books with titles like "How to Avoid the Law Without Breaking it". It was worrying, but Julianne wasn't surprised. 

Unlike the Muggle world, lawyers didn't exist in wizarding courts. It wasn't that they couldn't participate, it was that most chose to fend for themselves. So it wasn't surprising to see so many books about the law, Marcus must've had to represent himself before a court. Obviously, he wasn't very successful. 

There were a lot of history books, as Julianne went further on. A good few about the Hogwarts founders, another few about Merlin. She didn't think they had any significance, so she moved onto the next bookcase. 

The next one was different to the others. There were no books, it consisted of brown paper folders. Julianne curiously pulled one it. It read,

Janice Arnold   
D.O.B. 7th of January 1964  
D.O.D. 1st of February 1980  
WPS Number: 526423A7

Janice Arnold was the name of the girl who was murdered. And her father seemed to have a copy of her murder case file in his office. Julianne made the mistake of flicking the page. 

It displayed a few pictures of Janice's body. Julianne saw why the aurors were surprised to announce the death as a cause of the killing curse. Unlike other victims, who fell to the ground like dolls, as if in a deep sleep, Janice was in a very odd position. 

Her arm seemed to be harmed and bleeding, her leg was at a sickly angle that could only have signified that it was broken, the expression on her face was one of true terror and shock. 

She had blood in her mouth, her lip was grazed severely. She was anything but peaceful. 

"Merlin help me" whispered Julianne. If her father had done this, she definitely needed help. 

The next page on the case report was a detailed guide of her injuries. Her leg was broken, in away that no human and no fall could break it. It was undeniably done by magic. She had a slash on her arm, as if from a dagger. The report described the weapon used as "long and flat".

She went back to reading the report,

"The victim fought and resisted, there are multiple signs of sexual assault."

Julianne read and reread the sentence. "Multiple signs of Sexual assault". The words seemed to echo in her head. He raped her. A young, sixteen year old girl. He raped her and then he killed her.

And now Julianne was truly terrified. She knew she needed to keep looking, but she just put the file back and ran out of the office. She needed to do something, he needed to be in prison. But what could she do? Julianne was just a child, a child someone would never listen to. But she couldn't manage this, she couldn't handle living with her for the next two weeks. 

She she made a stupid promise to herself. She was going to confront him when he came home.

* * * 

Marcus Ashworth came home late, at half past one in the night. He wasn't alone. Julianne heard two men laughing, a bit drunkenly. 

"Ah, I've missed this" she heard her father say. "Midnight rendezvous and then a good drink."

"You deserve to have some fun, Marcus" said the other man. "Don't shut yourself in, we've got lots to do"

The two men kept talking, and Julianne assumed that the other man was staying over. She fell asleep, only to be woken up by an almost inhuman screech. It was followed by a 

Bang!

And then all went silent.


	20. Aaron Hayes

*Like the previous chapter, this chapter contains some disturbing and possibly triggering descriptions. I tried to limit the amount of graphic and particularly visual descriptions, but proceed with care and don't read if you're not comfortable*

 

Julianne couldn't sleep that night, she couldn't even close her eyes. She didn't know what had happened, what the "Bang!" Was and why silence followed it. And why she could no longer hear the voice of the man that her father had brought home. He could have just left, and the loud noise could have been anything in the world.  

But Julianne knew that it wasn't, and she couldn't help but feel sick.

She debated over whether she was going to go downstairs. She didn't want to, and she couldn't stay up in her room forever. She might as well go down and find out what happened. 

Julianne found her father in the living room. She didn't know if he was awake or asleep. He was leaning his head on his hand, looking down.

And then she saw him. His eyes were closed, and it was as if he was in the middle of saying something. And he was on the floor, cold and blue. There was a smell in the room.

He was dead. And there was no one other than her father that could have killed him. 

She realised that Marcus was looking at her as she was staring down at the body. So he wasn't asleep after all. She looked at him too. She was enraged, disgusted,  and feeling more vulnerable than ever. She wanted to yell and she wanted to run and she wanted to have someone clear her memory.  

"What are we going to do with it?" Was what came out. And Julianne has shocked herself. She was monotone, emotionless. And maybe she wasn't scared, maybe she was just protecting herself.  

Her father hadn't expected that reaction either, but it seemed to work for him. The body was levitated outside, and buried. It was over quicker than Julianne ever thought it would be. 

She felt terrible. She didn't want to cry and yell anymore. She didn't want to run away. She was perfectly calm, and it scared her to the brink of death. The man was dead, in her home, and she couldn't find the emotions to care.

"You can't tell anyone about this" said her father when they were inside. He was in a much worse condition than she was. He was jumpy, shaky, incredibly nervous, and he tried speaking to her multiple times but he couldn't seem to get his words out. 

"I know" said Julianne. She was going to tell Draco. She knew she was going to tell him. She wouldn't even try to stop herself, because she'd tell him anyway. 

Julianne looked at her father, to see he was looking at her too. He was a bit shocked at her calmness. 

"Why'd you kill him?" Julianne finally asked. 

"I didn't m-m-mean to" replied Marcus. He stuttered, and it felt like it was the first time Julianne heard him stutter. His confidence was gone entirely. And Julianne saw him for what he was, weak and pathetic.

"But he just, wouldn't stop talking, wouldn't stop asking" continued her father.  "About Helen. And he yelled and we fought and I just... I couldn't take it... I couldn't take him saying that I killed her.." 

Julianne just stared. 

"What was his name?" 

"Aaron Hayes. We were friends - years ago. We were friends and he, he accused me!" 

Her father's voice went from a shaky whisper to a yell. He wasn't stable, he wasn't safe to be around, and Julianne knew she should just get away.

"But he was right" said Julianne softly. "And you just killed him for it". And there was her anger coming out, in a very calm way. 

"He doesn't know" said Marcus. "He didn't know. He didn't know how I felt or what I've been through. He didn't know how hard it was for me! No one knew! Except for Helen! And she accepted it!" 

Again, he was yelling. And Julianne realised something.  

Her father didn't hate her mother, he loved her, in a very sick way. He loved her as if she was an object, his object, his escape. He thought that her sacrificing her body was something she had done out of love, not out of fear. 

"But he was right" repeated Julie. "You killed mother. And you killed that other girl too, didn't you? Janice. You raped her and you killed her." 

Julianne realised she was playing a dangerous game, and she knew she was going to get hurt. But her father was on the verge of a breakdown and he was barely thinking, and if she was going to get anything out of him it would happen now. 

"I didn't kill Helen! " Yelled Marcus. "I didn't kill her! I loved her and she loved me! HER OWN LOVE FOR ME KILLED HER!" 

Julianne shuddered. She suddenly remembered the pain harnessing technique, and wondered if she was going to need to apply it. Focusing. The first step was focusing. 

"How - how do you know about Janice?" Her father said angrily, after a few moments of silence. 

"Mother told me. And I know that you killed her. I know that it was you. Only you're pathetic eno---"

Julianne was cut off. He broke. 

"Crucio!"

The curse hit her right in the chest. She fell to the ground from the shock and the impact, not necessarily the pain. But the pain was more sinister than she could ever imagine. 

She was burning, her bones were burning and her lungs were burning and it was as if white hot knives were stabbing every inch of her body. She wasn't yelling, she was crying, choking. 

Focus, she needed to focus. She tried focusing on the pain rather than on hoping it would end. She tried, she wasn't sure she was doing it right. She tried to overcome, absorb it, and hopefully the mental effort alone was enough, because it drained her completely.  

The curse was lifted, and the way it stopped was shocking. It went from torturous pain to nothing. Julianne was just angry now, and she got out her wand, but didn't point it. 

"Just like Helen," her father whispered. "Just like Helen"

Julianne was up from the ground, and decided she didn't want to go through torture anymore. She stared her father down, and went up the stairs, just to realise that she was running to her room faster than she had ever ran before.

*  *  *

Day One of the holidays was nothing but falling asleep early. Day Two was the shocking realisation that her father did kill Janice, because how else would he stand having her murder case file along with several shocking pictures in his office. Day Three was confirmation that her father was a murderer. Day Three was a new corpse. Day Three was torture.

Day Four was starving. Julianne stayed in her room all day and for some reason, Zeemy didn't even offer to bring up some food. Jinx was with her, she hid him away from her father. He slept through the entire day, so she starved and lay on her bed, along with him, too weak to even cry.  

Day Five was a new day. Julianne saw her father at the breakfast table, paying no attention to him.

"Good morning Julianne" he said. She ignored him. He repeated it. She ignored him. 

Day Five was excruciating pain and torture. Day Five was Julianne trying to overcome the pain, and this time she succeeded. Or at least she thought she did. It turned out she was trying so hard that her energy was drained and she found herself unconscious. 

When she finally woke up, she had bruises on her neck and her clothes were torn. She could only have suspiciouns, she was grateful she escaped the confirmations. Walking was painful, breathing was sickening, living was a chore. Her father was going to break her the same way he had broken her mother. 

*  *  *

Day Five was by far the longest day. Julianne spent at least a quarter of it in the bathroom, vomiting and then washing herself, again and again and again. She wanted to wash the bruises off, scrubbing and scrubbing and not feeling pain. She had more bruises than she knew of, apart from the ones littering her neck, and the ones that showed memories of fingers gripping her arms tightly, she found bruises on her breasts and her inner thighs. 

She was in pain and she was bleeding, and she wanted to escape, and she knew that she could. But she didn't. She had eight more days to go, and she was going to make those eight days worth it. 

Day Five was followed by another sleepless night. Julianne felt too dirty to sleep. She felt too vulnerable. Her body didn't feel to be her own anymore, it felt too tainted and impure. She felt as if she was being forced to become older and lose her innocence completely, as if the death of her mother wasn't enough. 

The last of Day Five was insecurities, impulses, and an infinite number of invasive thoughts.


	21. Sylvia

Easter came soon, and Julianne had completely forgotten about it. She was reminded when a large owl left a package on her window sill, a chocolate Easter Egg, with moving bunnies and chicks. It was from Draco, and he was definitely showing off because the egg must've been pretty expensive. Julianne felt bad for not getting him anything. 

The previous days had her stressed out way too much to remember. Her father would send curses her away several times each day and she was still slowly recovering from everything that she went through. She couldn't look at him, she could barely look at herself. She still felt dirty, and she didn't know if she would ever get rid of the feeling. Part of her was thankful that she was passed out, but if she wasn't maybe it wouldn't have happened at all. 

She started writing Draco a letter, something to get her mind off of everything. She thanked him, apologised for not getting him anything, and told him she'd tell him about everything when she got back.

And writing the letter helped. She wrote one to Lyndsey, thanking her for being supportive and patient with her, and wishing her a happy Easter. She wrote one to Pansy too, telling her that she was sorry for not considering her feelings in relation to Draco, and convinced her that there was nothing going on between them. This was half a lie, but Julianne didn't care.

She wrote to Theresa, thanking her for always being the smart and reasonable one in the group, and thanking her for her help. She wrote to Blaise, telling him what a great friend he was to Draco. She wrote to Crabbe and Goyle too, even though she really wasn't sure if she liked them, but she told them that they were worth something to her and that she saw how dedicated they could be to a friend. 

She was so overcome by this wave of emotions that she even wrote a letter to Severus Snape, the head of her house. She knew he was mean and cruel sometimes, but he was extremely intelligent and was always kind to Julianne. She thanked him for being a great Head of House.

And then Julianne put the letters in envelopes and wrote the addresses carefully on each one. She even took the time to draw some pansy flowers on Pansy's envelope. She gave the heavy stack to the family messenger, a small Seychelles Kestrel falcon named Mercury. He was rescued from an injury and brought home all the way from the Indian Ocean, and Helen Ashworth had fallen in love with the bird and bought it. 

She tied the letters to Mercury's leg, and he flew off. 

*  *  *

The next day was Monday, and Julianne had a week before going back to school. She didn't want to do anything, she wanted to stay in bed for days and forget about life. But she couldn't, time was precious and she needed to continue searching her father's office. 

He was at home all day, so Julianne decided to look in her mother's room. Her mother and father shared a bedroom, but her mother had something of an office too. 

It was on the second story, right under Julianne's room. The walls displayed beautiful landscape paintings, some of which were made by Helen. 

She had a desk, with lots of drawers in it, an armchair, and a vanity table. Julianne looked through the desk drawers first, but there was nothing of interest. A few of her mother's sketches, some books she was reading, a collection of quills and inks. She had a feeling that her father went through the desk drawers already.

The vanity table was more interesting. It was undeniably untouched, as the bottles of perfume that stood before the mirror were covered by a light film of dust, and a dusty picture stood beside the perfumes. It was a picture of her mother, young, happy, holding a little baby who could only be Julianne. 

Julie slipped the picture out of the frame, and laid it on the table, planning to take it with her. She started looking through the vanity table drawers. One contained makeup, lipsticks and eyeshadows. She looked at one of them, finding it to be a deep red colour. Almost blood red. 

'Just like Draco's favourite colour' Julianne thought, as she pocketed the lipstick. 

In the next drawer, Julianne saw a handle to something she assumed was a hairbrush, but turned out to be a small dagger when she pulled it out. It was silver, the handle decorated with intricate designs of flowers and swirls. 

She turned it over curiously, only to find an engraving on the very edge of the blade.

Julianne Sylvia Ashworth 

Her name. Did this mean that the dagger belonged to her? Was it something that her mother had made? 

Julianne looked at the dagger again, and found that there was a small opening at the bottom of the handle. A bit of some white parchment was peaking out. She pulled on it, taking it out completely. 

"Julianne, this is a magical blade that I had made for you, for your protection. It's invisible to everyone but you, that's why I left it in such an easy place to find. 

Use it to stay safe, and do no harm. 

\- Your mother."

Helen Ashworth sure liked mystery, considering that she could have given the blade to Julianne at the hospital. 

Julianne looked into the drawer to find a sheath in it too. It was a deep burgundy colour, with Julianne's middle name stitched into it carefully, "Sylvia".

She wondered why it was just her middle name, and Julianne assumed that that's what her mother wanted to name the blade. 

She put the dagger into the sheath, and put it in the same pocket as her wand and her mother's lipstick. She took the photograph with her, and headed to her room. 

*  *  * 

It was Thursday when Marcus Ashworth finally left the house. He left early in the morning, and Julianne ran to his office as soon as she could. She had the dagger with her, a habit she had developed over the past few days. It made her feel oddly safe. 

Julianne was looking through the care files, and she only found a few on Janice Arnold. The rest were law cases or business cases, which she didn't pay much attention to, especially since some dates back to centuries ago. She copied a few of the documents, all of the ones that had Janice's name on it and the ones with Sylvester Lowell, the man who was sent to Azkaban in place of her father. 

Julianne decided to look through her father's desk. She found a lot of letters, both old and somewhat new. There were quite a few about her mother's death, mostly posh families saying that "They're sorry for their loss", probably in order to maintain connections.

She found some letters from Aaron Hayes, and some of them dated back nine to ten years. He and her father were obviously close, she wouldn't have been surprised if they turned out to have been best friends. Except best friends have the tendency to not murder each other. 

In the lowest desk drawer Julianne found a few thick leatherbound notebooks. She pulled the top one out, flicking to the middle. It was dated the 14th of April, 1995. Last week. 

She started reading. 

"I am still mourning the death of my beloved friend, Aaron Hayes. It's such a shame that he had to go this way, but I must not blame myself, I had no choice. It seems that everyone is leaving me these days, both Helen and , and I fear that Julianne will turn against me soon. 

Julianne has been so helpful, helping me to get better. " 

Julianne looked at this in confusion. No she hasn't. Unless.. 

She's just like Helen now. I'm finally proud of my daughter "

Julianne put down the diary. She didn't know what he was going to write but she knew that she didn't want to read it. She made a duplicate of that diary, and a few others of the other diaries in the drawer. She went back to her room with all of the documents, ensuring that everything was just like before. 

*  *  *

By Saturday Julianne was completely packed and ready to go back. By Saturday she had also been tortured another four times.

She really didn't know if the whole pain harnessing idea was working. She tried her best, and sometimes she succeeded. She was getting better at tolerating the pain, but she really didn't feel herself getting stronger. In fact, Julianne just felt more tired. 

Maybe too much was going on. Maybe the strength she got from it was what was keeping her alive now. Because she really was falling apart. 

*  *  * 

Sunday morning was the most welcomed sight Julianne had seen in the two weeks. She was out of the house without as much as a goodbye towards her father, and this time she got an a broom instead of using Floo powder. 

She's had a broom ever since she was a little girl, just in her first year. It was a Russian broom called the Rocketa 14 which was supposedly one of the fastest brooms. It was a transport broom though, not a Quidditch one. So with a trunk with a shrinking charm on it, Jinx in a scarf tied around her neck that was draping down like a sling, her dagger and wand in her pocket, Julianne was flying over huge areas of land, feeling free for the first time in a fortnight.  

Mercury caught up with her in the air too. It seemed that every living thing wanted to escape the Ashworth estate. 

She arrived at King's Cross looking like a complete mess. Her hair was tangled with leaves in it, she looked tired and ghastly, and she had a nasty gash on her cheek that she could seem to fix with a healing spell. She had a cat sleeping in her scarf, a broom in hand and a falcon on her shoulder. She looked almost surreal. 

Draco saw her on the platform, alone, lost, looking absolutely terrible. 

"Is that... Julianne?" Asked his mother. Draco nodded solemnly. 

"What happened to her?" Asked his father. Draco shrugged. He really didn't think she'd come out looking this bad.  

He went over to her with his parents, noticing that her hands were so shaky that the broom she was holding was clattering against the floor.

"Hey, Julie.." started Draco cautiously.  She looked at him, as if she was shocked to see him. Then she threw her arms around him, dropping her broom and her trunk, and holding a an arm between them so she wouldn't squish Jinx.

Julianne finally felt safe.


	22. Heartbreak

Julianne hugged Draco tightly for longer than was appropriate in front of his parents, but she didn't care, and neither did Draco. It was when they pulled apart that Narcissa Malfoy got a good look at the poor girl. 

And she knew one thing for sure, Julianne was definitely far from being okay. 

"Were your holidays alright?" Asked Narcissa gently. Even Draco was a bit surprised to see his mother like this, she was obviously fond of the girl. 

"Yeah" lied Julianne. "I just really missed Draco". She let out a small smile. She ran a hand through her hair, picking out a few leaves and making it look slightly more presentable. She picked up her broom and her trunk, getting ready to go. 

Draco hugged his parents, and Julianne waved to Lucius and Narcissa. Then they boarded the train, finding an empty compartment near the back. 

As soon as they were there alone, Julianne shut the door and hugged Draco again. He hugged her back tightly, gently sitting her down. 

"I'm sorry" Draco whispered. "I shouldn't have let you go. I'm sorry" 

Julianne just stayed silent, hugging him so tightly that Draco had to loosen her arms around him. 

They broke apart after a while, and Julianne looked down. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Asked Draco. Julianne shook her head. She was on the verge of tears, and crying was the last thing she wanted to do. 

Blaise entered the compartment a few minutes later, but saw Julianne's state and decided to leave shortly. 

When he left, Julianne opened her trunk. Draco looked curiously as she pulled out brown paper documents and a small notebook. She handed him the documents first.  

"They're case files" she said in a stony voice. "I found them in his office" 

Draco flicked through them, stopping to look at the pictures but then shut the files. Julianne handed him the notebook. 

"He kept diaries" she explained. "This one should be from the year of the murder. I couldn't read it." 

Draco didn't particularly want to read it either, but decided that Julianne's needs were a bit more important at the moment. 

"Look for the 1st of February 1980" she said. And he found the date soon enough. 

"Will I read it aloud?" He asked. Julianne hesitated but nodded. 

"Go on" 

"Today was a long and terrible day" he started. "I was forced to do something I never thought I'd have to do. Today I had to end a life, and I hated it, but it wasn't my fault.

Her name was Jane, or Janet, something along the lines. She was helpful, and she gave my what Helen never could. She --" 

Julianne held her hand out. 

"Stop" she said. "I don't want to hear anymore" 

"But what did he me--"

"He raped her, Draco" 

Draco fell silent. He didn't expect that at all. He looked at Julianne apologetically. Then a thought hit him. 

"He didn't so anything to you, did he?" 

Julianne didn't reply. 

"Julie?" 

"I'm going to go find Pansy" she said. "I've been meaning to talk to her." 

And she left the compartment. 

*  *  * 

Julianne didn't even try to find Pansy. She headed straight to the bathroom, locking the door and leaning against the wall. She looked at herself in the mirror in the tiny cubicle. She hadn't looked at herself for days. 

And she looked terrible. She splashed some cold water on her face, untangled her hair the best she could, and pinched her cheeks, trying to make them look more rosy and less dull. It made her look a bit better, and made her feel just a tiny bit better too. 

When they arrived at the castle, Julianne made her way to her dormitory, skipping dinner. It was empty and she lay in her bed, Jinx beside her, purring softly and reminding her that she was alive. 

The girls came up soon, all coming up to Julianne. 

"We brought you some dinner" said Lyndsey, handing her a plate of pasta and pork chops. Theresa was carrying a class of juice, and Pansy was carrying some jelly and ice cream. 

"We've been meaning to talk to you" said Theresa. They sat down on her bed, around Julianne. Jinx woke up, and strolled over to Pansy's lap. 

"I know your mother's death was hard for you, but you've been acting weird" said Pansy. 

"Yeah," confirmed Theresa. "Not sad, not grieving or mourning. You've just been jumpy and forgetful and your grades how completely fallen down." 

Julianne just stared at them, waiting for Lyndsey to say something. Instead, the girl just pushed the plate of food into Julianne's hands. 

"Eat" she said, in an almost commanding tone. 

Julianne took a few bites. She realised that she hadn't eaten properly in a while, and the food really made her feel better.  

Theresa put a hand on Julianne's shoulder. 

"Listen... we know that you probably don't want to talk about stuff.."

"So" continued Lyndsey, almost excitedly, though she was trying to keep it down. "We've organised a girls day out. Next Hogsmeade weekend. We invited Tracey and Daphne too" 

Julianne wanted to say something, but her mouth was full of food. 

"And you're coming" said Pansy. "It's not up for debate".

So Julie just nodded, both dreading and looking forward to the weekend.  

*  *  * 

That night Julianne couldn't sleep. She was restless and tired and decided to go downstairs, finding Draco asleep on the sofa. She looked at him in wonder and decided to wake him up. She gently shook his shoulder, and he opened his eyes groggily. 

"You came" he said. Julianne looked at him quizzically.

"What do you mean? Why are you sleeping here?" 

"I didn't think you'd be able to sleep tonight" he explained. "So I stayed here just in case" 

Julianne was very touched. She took Draco's hand and squeezed it, sitting down beside him. 

"Go back upstairs" she told him. "You shouldn't be sleeping here."

Draco sat up.

"I want to talk to you first" 

"About what?" 

"About you" 

Julianne just sighed. She didn't want to talk about herself, she wanted to just forget everything that happened. 

"What about me?" She asked tiredly.

Draco shrugged.  

"Are you okay?" He asked for a start.  

It was Julianne's turn to shrug. She obviously didn't want to talk about anything, especially herself. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Draco pulled her in and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

The recent incident left Julianne hating touch, or any form of physical contact, but Draco was always so gently and careful that he was the only person Julianne didn't mind. 

"You know," he started softly. "I can keep you safe if you want me to" 

Julianne was a bit surprised at this. Draco didn't really seem like the Draco Malfoy she knew at all lately, he wasn't stubborn and arrogant and proud, around her anyway. He was soft and quiet and gentle, and he was caring, so amazingly caring. 

"I can take care of myself" Julianne said confidently. Well, as confident as you can be when you're tired and sleepy and on the verge of tears. 

Draco nodded with understanding and pulled Julianne in closer. She let herself put her head on his shoulder and take his hand in her's. 

*  *  *

Pansy noticed that Julianne's bed was empty when she woke up to get a drink.  The girl was acting weird, and Pansy was worried about her. She decided to go downstairs and check the common room, hoping to find Julie there. 

She stopped when she saw Julianne on the sofa from the stairway. She was sitting with Draco, leaning into him and holding his hand. 

And Pansy wasn't even angry and she didn't even feel betrayed. She was just sad, heartbroken, and she felt more alone than ever. She watched Julianne and Draco, knowing that everything Julianne had told her in the letter she sent her at Easter was a lie, even if she didn't mean it to be. 

Julianne couldn't help her feelings after all, and Pansy knew that better than anyone. 

She went back to her dormitory. Julianne came up soon enough after.  

Julianne was about to get into bed when she saw that Pansy was awake. 

"Is everything okay?" She asked her in a whisper. 

"I saw you" Pansy said. "With Draco" 

Julianne turned cold. She didn't know what to say, and was about to apologise when Pansy cut her off.

"It's okay. I know that you like him."

"I don't like him! Not like that!" Julianne exclaimed in a shushed voice. 

"I think you do." Said Pansy. "And it's okay that you do. He likes you back anyway" 

"Pansy.." 

"Just let him know how you feel. Don't lead him on. I love both of you and I want both of you to be happy"

Julianne didn't expect to hear such words from Pansy. Pansy was spoilt and could easily throw a tantrum when she didn't get what she wanted, so hearing her be so selfless and kind was a new occurrence. 

And Julianne realised how much she must've liked Draco to react like that. She felt guilty and didn't know what to do. 

"Thanks, I guess" said Julie. "But I don't know how I feel about him right now. He's great, I love talking to him, but I don't know."

"I think you do know" said Pansy. "You just can't accept it. You're obviously drawn to him, you talk to him constantly, your trust him" 

Julianne nodded, and the two girls went to bed as both were too sleepy to keep talking. 

She thought about Draco in a way that she hasn't thought about him for a while. He had his flaws, lots of them, he was very mean sometimes and he was pretty ignorant. But he was so kind to her, so caring, he understood her better than anyone else. 

But was she ready?


	23. Unrequited

The next week passed by slowly for Julianne, her classes seemed longer and more tedious than usually, and the buzz of excitement going around the school because of the final Tri-Wizard task was somewhat irritating her. 

The Hogsmeade trip was coming up, and Julianne dreaded it. She felt so dead, and the last thing she wanted to do was laugh fakely and spend money on things she didn't need. She wanted to stay in bed for days and do nothing at all.

But she had to go. She knew that if she didn't go she'd be completely drifting away from her friends, and she didn't want that.  

So when the day came, Julianne got out of bed, put on some makeup and a pretty dress, and pretended that everything was okay.

The weather was wonderful that day, even though April had turned out to be pretty cold that year. It was warm and sunny, with a light breeze, and even the weather alone seemed to put Julianne in a good mood. 

They left together, Tracey Davis and Pansy linking their arms as they appeared to be deep in conversation, talking in hushed voices and giggling. Daphne Greengrass was talking to Millicent Bullstrode, who surprisingly came along. Julie wasn't sure if she was even invited, but she did share a dormitory with them so there was no way to stop her from coming. She was convinced that Daphne was talking to her out of pity, as the other girls didn't give her much attention. 

Julianne was walking behind them all, with Lyndsey and Theresa. She was in the middle, and the girls kept trying to make conversation with her, about anything and everything.

"I really don't think History of Magic should be a core subject" said Theresa. "It's not like we learn any modern history, just those bloody goblin rebellions and giant attacks. What do you think, Julie?"

"I guess you're right" replied Julianne. "I haven't really thought about it. It's easy enough anyway, just a bunch of memorising."

"But it's so pointless" said Lyndsey with a whine, flicking back a strand of her which happened to fall into her face. "It's not like we're actually going to use it in real life" 

"We need to learn from our mistakes" said Theresa, mocking the deep voice of the history professor, Binns. Lyndsey laughed and Julianne let out a genuine giggle.  

They went to Madam Puddifoot's for a cup of coffee and some heart shaped biscuits, and then the group parted their ways.

Pansy went to Gladrags Wizardwear, while Theresa pulled Lyndsey and Julie towards a book store, claiming that she had nothing left to read and was in desperate need of something new.

Theresa was deep in her books when Lyndsey pulled Julianne aside. 

"I was hoping to talk to you on your own" she said in a whisper.  

"About what?"

"Pansy told me about you and Draco," she continued. "And I was just wondering what's going on between you two? Do you actually like him like that?" 

"I don't know. I dont think so, but I change my mind about him every few minutes," Said Julie lightly. "Why do you care anyway?"

"No reason.." Lyndsey trailed off. 

"You don't like him like that, do you?" Julianne asked, predicting the answer in her head. 

"No, of course not," said Lyndsey with an awkward laugh. "It's not him.." 

"Is it me?" Asked Julianne jokingly. It stopped being a joke when Lyndsey's expression grew more serious. 

"It is me" Julianne confirmed in a whisper. Lyndsey looked uncharacteristically nervous, fidgeting with her fingers. She nodded, looking down. 

Julianne stayed silent for a bit, processing everything in her head. She didn't know how she felt for Lyndsey, she didn't mind the idea of loving a girl like that, but Lyndsey had always been a friend, and thinking of her as anything more than that felt weird. 

"Lyndsey, I---"

"You don't need to say anything," said Lyndsey. She was still nervous and spoke quietly. "Just don't tell anyone anything. We don't need to talk about it"

"Why not talk about it?" Asked Julianne, somewhat frustrated. "Give me a chance too. You just introduced a whole new idea into my head and I don't know how I feel about it. So let me figure it out" 

Lyndsey stared at her, obviously surprised. She expected Julianne to drop everything, forget, she was completely sure her feelings would be unrequited. But Julianne had a different idea in mind.

"I just never really thought about the possibility of being with a girl. I've always been expected to marry a boy so I've never considered alternatives." 

Lyndsey kept staring. Julianne walked closer to her and looked at her. And then she kissed her, just lightly on the lips, but a kiss nonetheless. Lyndsey took Julianne's hand softly in her's. 

Julianne realised what she was doing and stepped away. 

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm confused. I'm confused with all of the family problems and with Draco and-- " 

Julianne broke off, giving Lyndsey an apologetic look and running out of the store. 

Lyndsey gave her the right circumstances to question if she liked Draco. And Julianne felt terrible for using her and for leading her on. But it showed her one thing for sure, that kissing anyone other than Draco felt wrong. 

She ran back to the castle without looking back, and up to her dormitory, crashing onto her bed. 

When the feeling guilty overcame her completely, she pulled out a quill and some parchment and wrote Lyndsey a small note, leaving it under her pillow. 

"Lyndsey,

I'm sorry for running away. It was wrong and selfish and I hope that you don't feel bad about it. 

You can always talk to me if you need me.

Love, Julie" 

She left the dormitory after, wanting to avoid the girls' inquisitions as to why she ran away. She took a walk up to the Astronomy Tower, decided that it was too cold and went to the library.  

She hadn't visited the library since before the holidays. The familiar setting made her long for new information and discoveries. She needed a distraction, and what better than trying to find a way to prove her father's guilt.

*   *   * 

Julianne ran back to her dormitory and quickly grabbed the case files, running into someone on the way down, a bit too literally.  

To her luck, it was Blaise who was standing with Draco. Draco wasn't the first person that she wanted to see right now, but at least he wouldn't question her. Or so she thought. 

"Watch out" said Blaise, stretching the 'ou'. "You can't just run into people like that" 

He grinned and Draco smirked, looking as smug as ever. Then he noticed the files, realising where Julianne was heading and what she was going to do.

Julianne watched as he said something to Blaise quietly and Blaise went up the stairs to the boys dormitories, alone. 

"You need any help?" Asked Draco. Julianne wanted help, but she didn't want to be in the same room as Draco. She knew how hard it would be to focus especially with all of the emotional conflicts she had been having recently.

"Sure," she said lightly. "Thanks for offering" 

And the two went to the library, sitting at their usual table. Madam Pince looked at them with suspicion, wondering what two fourteen year olds could be doing with legal documents. She decided that questioning them wouldn't get her anywhere, and just hoped that they wouldn't be too loud. 

"What do you plan on doing?" Asked Draco.  

"I need to find a way to prove that my father is guilty of the murders."

"And how do you plan on --- wait. Murders? Plural?" 

Julianne paused, realising that there was a lot that she hadn't told Draco. She could have played it off and told him that her mother's death was murder. But Aaron Hayes deserved justice.

"Yeah," said Julianne. "Plural. He killed his best friend too" 

Draco just stared at her. 

"Is this something new you found out?" He asked. "When did it happen?" 

"A few weeks ago. I helped to bury him." 

Again, Julianne was shocked at how calm she was about it. She wasn't processing it fully, the words rang in her head but their meaning wasn't obvious to her. 

Draco stared at Julianne. And maybe she wasn't focusing on the right thing, but his grey eyes seemed to be reflecting the light in a way that made his whole face shine.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Asked Draco, breaking her out of her thoughts. "What else didn't you tell me?" 

"It's not exactly an easy subject to bring up," said Julie coldly. Her mood towards Draco changed within seconds, and his inquiries seemed demanding and irritating. 

Draco nodded solemnly.

"What else didn't you tell me?" He repeated. 

Julianne suddenly remembered about the dagger. It was in the pocket of her cloak, where she had sewn in a structure to make sure it didn't fall out of the sheath. 

She looked around and took the blade out, remembering that Draco couldn't see it. She was right, he didn't see it. 

She reached for his hand and put it on the flat side of the knife. 

"What the hell is that?" 

"It's a dagger I found in my mother's room. It had my name on it. It's enchanted so only I can see it."

Draco slid his hand up and down the blade carefully, eyeing the invisible to him dagger with caution.

"That's. .. both really weird and pretty cool." 

Julianne nodded, pursing her lips together. She put the dagger back in its sheath and in her cloak. After a few minutes of silence, Julianne started gathering up the files. 

"Are you leaving?" Asked Draco. She nodded.

"Let's go together then." 

Julianne nodded again, picking up the files and walking out of the library. Draco followed her out. 

"So," he started. He paused, opening his mouth and then closing it, and deciding to say something else. "If you buried the body near your house, can't you just tell the magic authorities about that and your father will go to prison?" 

"I've thought of it." Said Julianne. "But Sylvester Lowell is still in prison for Janice Arnold's murder. And he's most likely innocent so I want to get him out." 

Draco nodded slowly. He didn't expect Julianne to be like this, caring about the life of a man she didn't know. He didn't say anything, and they walked to the dungeons in silence.

"What if you do prove him guilty?" Asked Draco suddenly. "Where will you go then? Any relatives?" 

"I've got an aunt on my father's side, I think. Our family has distanced itself from each other. So I don't know."

Julianne paused, and then started talking again. 

"But if things get really bad, I'll live with my uncle" she said was a snort.  

It took Draco a few seconds to process, until he realised. She meant Voldemort.


	24. Birthday Wishes

The next part of the year passed much slower than all of the rest. The last task of the Tournament was only to be held in June, and that was a good while away. 

What wasn't too far away though, was Julianne's birthday, and Julie wondered if anyone would remember about it this year. She wouldn't have blamed them if they didn't, since she was never one to be excited for it, and let it pass without a word every few years.  

She woke up on the 21st of May to a pleasant surprise, banners saying "Happy 15th Birthday" and balloons floating over her bed all showed that this year her birthday was definitely not forgotten about. 

Pansy ran over to her bed and gave her a hug, before prodding her to open all of the gifts. And she had a lot, even some from people she didn't expect, like Crabbe and Goyle and Blaise Zabini. They might've been just treat boxes but the thought made her feel fuzzy with happiness anyway. 

The girls had given Julianne a joint birthday gift which she was absolutely in love with. It was a photo album, with pictures of the four of them all the way from first year. It was large and thick, with drawings and cute handwritten notes. They had given her separate gifts too, pretty notebooks and lip glosses and an intricate ribbon that served as a collar for Jinx.  

The day just got better at the table in the Great Hall. She entered the hall as normal, arms linked with Theresa and chatting to Lyndsey and Pansy. Her usual place at the Slytherin table was empty, waiting for her, with flowers around her plate and another "Happy Birthday" banner floating above it. 

When she came into sight of the students, a group of first and second years stood up,

"Happy Birthday to you!" They started singing. Julianne stared at them in awe and saw a good few people from the table joining in, including Draco an Blaise, of course.

She laughed with joy and looked over to Pansy. Pansy seemed as surprised as she was, meaning she didn't set this up. 

Julie thanked all of the students personally and gave a few of them a quick hug before sitting down. 

"Enjoying the attention, Ashworth?" 

Draco could've said the same thing to Harry Potter and it would've sounded like a mocking sneer. But when he said it to her, it was the kindest thing with a bit of humour. 

Julianne nodded enthusiastically her eyes wide. 

"I am! I didn't think anyone would care this much!"

Blaise looked at her with a grin.  

"Of course we care," he said lightly. "Especially Draco."

A hint of pink reached Draco's cheeks but went unnoticed by Julianne. 

"Everyone loves you," continued Blaise. "Especially after those letters you sent out at Easter." 

Julianne had forgotten completely about the emotional letters she sent after a surge of feelings. She definitely didn't expect them to come back to her that way. 

It was a Sunday, which meant no classes, which meant that Draco freely pulled Julie away and down to the Black Lake after breakfast. They sat before the glimmering water, and a soft breeze blew through Julianne's hair.

Draco scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, not knowing where to start. Julianne noticed that a lot about him recently, he was a bit jumpy and awkward around her. It was odd to see the confident and arrogant Draco like that, but it made her smile and giggle. 

Julie decided to help him out. 

"Was it you?" She started. "Who organised the whole "Happy Birthday" thing, I mean." 

"Yeah..." said Draco, trailing off. "Well, Blaise helped a lot."

"Thank you." Said Julie, touching Draco's arm. "I loved it and it was really sweet." 

"That's not all, of course." Said Draco in a matter - of - fact tone. It was like he was showing off. "I've got something else."

Julianne looked up at him. He looked excited, and just a bit nervous. 

"I was going to get you some books," began Draco, "but all you've been doing is reading and researching, so a break from that wouldn't be any harm. So I got you this," 

Draco took out his wand and pointed it at the water, mumbling a few words that Julianne didn't hear clearly.

A small box was raised upwards by a stream of water, and it flew right into Julie's hands. Draco had obviously been practicing the spell. 

Julianne looked at Draco before opening the box. It was a necklace with a charm, an amber and red stone encrusted in a platinum frame, which resembled a tear drop. It was beautiful and simple, and Julie had never seen a piece of jewellery that she had loved more.

"The stone is draconite." Draco explained, smirking a bit, probably because the name of the stone was similar to his own name. "It's got protecting powers, mostly from dark spirits and stuff like that. And just negative thoughts and nightmares."

Julie studied the stone, before looking up at Draco again.  "That's so thoughtful." She told him. "Thank you so much!" 

"Hopefully it can make you feel a bit safer," Said Draco with a smile.  "You know, for when I'm not there." 

Julianne put the box in her lap and leaned over to hug Draco tightly. He was taken aback, and didn't react immediately due to his surprise. He wrapped his arms around her eventually. 

Julianne was warm and small, and hugging her made Draco feel incredibly protective of her. But she was strong, and he knew that if he was too protective then she would back away from him. 

Draco sighed into Julie's shoulder as he realised how much the girl has been through. He had thought about this a lot before, but it seemed more real than ever in that moment. She didn't have a home, as the Ashworth estate was just another place where she had to fear for her life. Her father was abusive, in ways Draco couldn't imagine. His own father was strict, and sometimes lost his temper, but he was proud of Draco and he would never intentionally hurt him. 

He didn't even know what happened during the Easter holidays, but he didn't ask Julianne about it. Julie tightened her grip around Draco for a few seconds before letting go. 

Her light and enthusiastic expression changed when she saw Draco's. He completely lost himself in thought without realising. 

"I love the necklace," she said, getting his attention. "I don't think I'm ever going to take it off."

Draco smiled. "Do you want me to help you put it on?"

Julie nodded, turning around and lifting her hair. Draco suddenly felt more nervous than ever, fumbling a bit with the clasp before finally getting it. 

When Julianne sat down beside him again, she softly placed her hand on his. 

"Somethings bothering you," she said. 

"It's nothing," replied Draco. "Just thinking, that's all."

"About what?" Asked Julie, realising that she was being a bit too nosy. She let it go, it was her birthday, after all. 

"About... the present my mother sent for you" said Draco, as if remembering what he was thinking about. This wasn't a lie, Narcissa Malfoy sent a package to him for Julianne's birthday. 

"For me? Why? And how did she even know it's my birthday?"

"I might have mentioned it once or twice," explained Draco. Once or twice was an underexaggeration. Julie's upcoming birthday had been one of the only things he talked to his mother about.  

Julianne nodded with slightly raised brows. 

"And my mother really likes you," added Draco, before falling back into silence. 

"That's not it." Said Julianne after a pause. "Somethings definitely bothering you and you're not telling me."

Draco sighed in exasperation. Then he turned to face Julie directly, taking both of her hands in his.

"I admire you." Started Draco. "A lot. You're smart and pretty and so bloody strong. But you're too strong. You shouldn't have had to deal with everything you dealt with and go through everything you went through. It's not fair." 

Julie wasn't expecting that. She squeezed Draco's hands a bit, looking down. 

"Well, life isn't fair." She muttered, barely audible. "Nothing you can do about it." 

Draco looked at her, a sadness over his eyes. 

"I wish I could do something." 

Julianne stared at him earnestly, before getting up. 

"I'm going to go now," she told him.  "I'll see you later today. Thank you for the gift, I loved it."

And without another word, she left. 

*  *  * 

Julianne found a note on her bed stand when she got back. It was small, written in emerald green ink.  

"Come to my office at one o'clock. The password is 'Liquorice Wands'.

\- Albus Dumbledore"

Julianne wondered what the headmaster wanted from her. She wasn't particularly excited, she never really liked Dumbledore. She saw why people adored him, he was kind, brave, and always so genuine. But something seemed off about him to her, something she couldn't quite place.

One o'clock wasn't too far away, and at five minutes to one she set off for the office. She had never been in the office before, but had heard from other students that the password was to be said to a gargoyle, which leapt aside, revealing a staircase. 

Julie knocked on the wooden doors to the office twice, loudly. They opened by themselves, and she entered the large circular room without hesitation. 

The headmaster was sitting in front of his desk, talking to a man which was turned so Julianne could only see his back. Both of them turned to face Julie when she entered the room. 

"Ah, Julianne." Said Dumbledore gently. "Your father came to wish you a happy birthday."

Julie stopped, with half a mind to run out of the office. She resisted the urge, knowing that it would look very suspicious. I'm safe she told herself. I'm in Hogwarts and he can't hurt me here.

She stayed where she was, not daring to move closer to her father. 

"Happy Birthday, Julianne!" Said Marcus Ashworth, getting up and walking towards his daughter.

"Thanks," replied Julie sarcastically. She wanted to wind her father up, so Dumbledore could see what he was really like. Maybe he could do something about it. "My Slytherin friends have already made this the best birthday I've ever had."

Julianne's father would've usually had a negative reaction to that, yelling at her for mentioning her fellow Slytherins and for not appreciating her heritage. But today, he was the definition of innocent and positivity. 

"That's wonderful!" 

Her father's new attitude just scared Julianne even more. 

"Is that all you wanted to say?" Asked Julianne harshly, forming the question more like a statement. She felt sick being in the same room as him, and wanted to get out as soon as she could. Her father began to say something else, but she cut him off. "Because I have work to do for tomorrow. It can't wait." 

She turned on her heel and left the office at a steady pace, running when she was out of sight.

And Julianne felt as scared as ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! The next chapter is coming soon!


End file.
